DrivelArchive

Acer Aspire One D255E

2011-10-29T13:52:00.001+01:00

What's the opposite of an "impulse purchase"? Whatever the phrase is, that's what the buying process for this device was for me. Took me months! Earlier in the year there was an article in PC Pro comparing many Netbooks and this one won. That was just the start.

I then set about looking for alternatives at a better price, but - cutting to the chase - nothing seemed as good. I stood for ages in PC World and Currys playing with netbooks various, and was somewhat underwhelmed. If you get the chance, walk up to a netbook and try running four or five applications at once. Chances are it will fall flat on its face.

Most of them are single core processors, and nearly all have but 1gig of memory. A few years ago their specification would have been thought fabulous, but now they struggle to cope with just the operating system, let alone running a program. (There's an article elsewhere in the blog extolling the virtues of MS-DOS for those who can remember it.)

So, the D255E has a dual core processor. I very nearly bought a single core example once, before the nuances of Acer's name scheme became apparent to me, a mistake I suspect many could have made. It has 1gig of memory and a 250gig hard disk. It has 3 USB ports, N class wifi and a 10.1 inch display. It nominally costs 250 quid, but I decided that 200 was my top limit. Much hard work went into tracking down such a thing, weeks passed but eventually I fluked it - Okobe had red ones for 200 pounds. I'm inclined to think they made a mistake on their web site, because if anything red ones are more than the usual black.

There's no denying, it is a bit slow. It's a 1.5 ghz processor, and the dual core does allow it to multi-task quite happily, but it's no greyhound, Patience is required. Once things are running, they run well, but start up times seem slow.

Having removed all the crapware from the machine, installed Chrome and Firefox and banished IE whence it came, surfing is a totally pleasant experience. And as that's pretty much all I wanted it for, that's fine. But having said that, I have no complaints about how it runs Office, or indeed any of the other apps I've subsequently installed. I can't see it doing video editing, but Picassa works fine for example, as does Google Earth.

The display is very bright and clear as a bell, and it's glossy finish has not caused me problems at all. And once the battery was trained it is genuinely giving me hours of use on a charge. The claim is 8 hours plus, but that must be for doing not-a-lot, I'm getting over 6 hours of normal use, whatever that is...

The wifi range is good, the keyboard is nice to use, the touchpad is responsive, it's light to carry, and looks cute as a button. It gets a little warm on the lap, but nothing to mention, and the fan is quiet. It's great for watching the BBC iPlayer in bed. Speakers aren't that great, well they sound okay but there's little volume, but that's easily fixed with headphones.

If I was to find fault... there's just 1gig of ram, but to install more you have to get your screwdriver out and remove the base... I'm not sure my nerves would take this. Surely a little hatch isn't too much to ask? Or that it should come with 2gig? Because just running a browser the ram usage goes into the red sometimes.

The machine is configured to boot into Android. This is easily bypassed, but I've left it doing this, as the start up time is phenomenal. It feels like just a few seconds from pressing "on" to being able to surf. Catch is, the version of Firefox used in the Android partition is well old, and I can't fathom how (or indeed if) you can update it. And oddly it seems to run very slowly, use it for gmail for example, and it keeps "sticking" as you type your message. There's something not quite right with it all. And there's a small app store to access, but so far I've failed to download anything from it, it just hangs when I try.

But ignoring these minor gripes, I cannot but heartily recommend the D255. I've been using it for a few weeks now and it's performed faultlessly. I attended a long meeting recently, other participants had laptops that they kept having to 'sleep' all the time - me, I just left the Acer on - that battery rocks! As I said before, beware the identical looking single core version, which can be the same price too, confusingly. You may not be as a lucky as me to find one for 200 quid, 240 seems generally to be going rate, but as the opposition catches up with dual cores I expect its price will drop.

Nokia C3-00

2011-10-11T09:08:00.001+01:00

However. It may be that my opinion of this phone is somewhat biased because I got it so cheaply. I bought it using Tesco tokens during one of their half price promotions, and ended up paying about 35 quid for it. I think it goes for about 90 quid in 'real life'. £35 - bargain, not sure how I'd feel about the full price...

Anyway, it's been excellent. Its keyboard does not have the quality feel of the Blackberry, nor is its screen so bright and inviting. But as a day-to-day phone it does everything well enough for me.

It copes with my various Gmail accounts very well, though it did take me a while to get to grips with how it works, insert usual moan here about poor documentation. (Aside... many years ago I was involved in rolling out Microsoft Office to a company nearby. Each CD of Office came with a pile - no really, a pile - of books about the various applications. I remember lugging these things about, and in the end there was almost a room full of books. I guess that wasn't very green, but at least you knew where to go to find out how the bloomin' programs worked. Now... well you might get a CD, but probably not. I recently bought a netbook, - it had critical info about how to maximise battery life on its hard disk. Trouble was, it turned out, you had to break one of the rules to get to see that instruction, i.e. switch it on in the first place! Ahem.)

Yes, so, email fine, browsing is okay too, it comes with Opera but runs the Nokia browser well too as you would expect. It handles Facebook and Twitter well, if you like that sort of thing. The screen is clear and bright, but annoyingly goes off too quickly when you're using it, and I can't find a setting to slow it down. However (not unrelated I suspect) battery life is good, I charge once a week on average. It picks up my wifi with ease, though it is a bit slow - but to be fair I personally cannot compare it with any other phone in this respect.

The biggest disappointment is the camera... it's a 2 mega-pixel job, which I assumed would be the same as the 2 mega-pixel camera I had in my old phone, a Nokia 2700. But no, it is much worse - not what I expected for a more expensive phone. It's okay in bright light and not too close to the subject, but anything else, awful.

The MP3 player is perfectly good, and easy to use. I confess I haven't really used the video function, but it works okay, I guess you can't expect too much at this level. There are a few okay games (currently addicted to Block'd) and you can download more free from the OVI app store, like Chess and Reversi.

I've had it 6 months and it's crashed maybe 5 times, recovering with a reboot no trouble. It's not put a foot wrong really, I have no major complaints. Well... just one, you have to hold the phone in just the right place next to your ear or the sound is distant, I've not really noticed this with other phones, the positioning of the speaker and ear seem to critical.

Peter Gabriel - Scratch My Back

2011-09-03T14:20:00.000+01:00

Straight away can I declare myself as a huge fan of Peter Gabriel, stretching back to his Genesis days and through his solo career. The man is a genius. Now, I'll try not to be too gushing about this album!

It's taken me a year or so to get around to buying this CD. I guess I was a little disappointed when it came out to discover it was in effect a 'covers' album. I had a quick listen to it on Spotify and it sounded dull, so I didn't exactly rush out to the shops to buy it. Duh.

For some reason I thought about it the other day, and it turned to be cheap as chips to buy, so I ordered it. It arrived. I played it. Dull.

Played it again. Hmmm. Played it again... oh yes... Played it again (etc) - now I LOVE it, can't stop playing it, am humming it constantly - the missus is sick of it!

Just to briefly explain the concept, Peter has persuaded a diverse selection of artists to allow him to record their material in his own inimitable fashion, and they are going to reciprocate by recording one of his songs in the future, hence the title. And the other thing - no guitars or drums. So, this album is dominated by orchestral instruments and arrangements. It sounds fantastic - it is 'lush' - the proper use of the word.

There are songs by David Bowie, Paul Simon, Neil Young, Talking Heads, Elbow, Lou Reed, Randy Newman, Radiohead, Arcade Fire, and, new to me, The Magnetic Fields, Regina Spektor and Bon Iver. They're all interpreted brilliantly, and (because I'm biased!) are all better than the original versions. His version of Elbow's Mirrorball is absolutely fantastic, I could talk about each track... but I did say I wouldn't gush...

Suffice to say that this album is simply wonderful - it's not a driving record, you've got to sit and listen to get it, but if the mood is right this is about as good as it gets. Do yourself a favour and give it a listen... no - don't be an idiot like me, give it several listens... then you'll thank me.

Very highly recommended, 10/10, you could buy it here.

Empire of the Clouds : Book Review

2011-08-27T17:09:00.002+01:00

This book was a joy for me to read from start to finish. It was a totally impulse purchase, and I would urge you not to be put off by the cover, which makes it look a bit like a Mills and Boon 60s novel... it is far from being that.

It's a non-fiction account of this country's aircraft industry since the second world war, which I know doesn't sound very interesting... but it really is.

Mostly it's interesting because the development of supersonic jet aircraft is fascinating, but also it's interesting to see just what a complete horlicks politicians made of our aircraft industry.

I must admit that I am very interested in aviation, mainly but not entirely military, so an insight into the development of some of my favourite planes was always going to be a winner with me, but actually the book is more about exposing the appalling lack of forethought and plain common sense on the part of our political and commercial leaders over the past half century.

If like me you have little regard for politicians, then I guarantee enjoyment from this book, as it confirms one's worst fears about this strange breed. They clearly have no idea what they're doing.

To summarise, at the end of WW2 this country had a fabulous and diverse aircraft industry, responsible in no small part for winning us the war, and looking ahead to a bright future of export potential and a warm fuzzy feeling of national security.

Today we have... not much to speak of. And the reason for that cannot in any way be laid at the door of the genius designers, the remarkable craftsmen or the brave test pilots involved. No. Politicians screwed it up. Looking back from this position of hindsight, it's easy to see the mistakes they made. Travel forward in time 50 years and look back at recent decision made about the Nimrod, the Eurofighter, the Harrier etc, I very much doubt today's shower will fare any better.

A book then, full of tales of individual bravery and foolishness, of fantastic and flawed designs, of genius and utter incompetence. Highly recommended.

Chevrolet Spark LT - Fun or just Funny?

2011-07-19T16:42:00.018+01:00

The service turned into a longer stay for repairs, and they swapped my Corsa for a similar car by the garage's other dealership, Chevrolet. Now, I'd never paid much attention to Chevys before, except for Camaros. This wasn't a Camaro, sadly, it was called a Spark LT.

My 12 year old son thought it looked great, but I confess I referred to it during my tenure as the 'clown car'.

I must confess to be surprised to discover that the LT is top of the line and the list price of this car is £10.5k. Hmmmm.

Well, I suppose it is quite well equipped. Alloys, fog lights, air-con, adjustable seat belts, sports bumpers (?!) and a lot of stereo.

So, was it any good? It was okay. But the looks. I couldn't quite work out who would buy this car. Certainly not an old gadget like myself, it would be embarrassing. Young people then... but I'm not sure, it's not as appealing as some similarly wacky looking Citroens somehow. There's too much styling... what are those roof rails for? Are the black stripes and flashes helping, really, I mean they're just stickers. The alloys aren't alloy-ee enough.

The interior (again) appealed to my son, and I guess it was quite different. There's a lot of bare metal, but not in the name of austerity so much as style, and in places it worked. Though, quite often reflection from the metal of passing trees would momentarily distract. But it was comfy and modern. The instruments were odd, however, a strange combination of digital and analogue, hard to fathom what you were looking at half the time.

It grew on me after a couple of days I must admit. It wasn't fast but it was perky, it did the job quite well, the cabin was okay to be in, and of course from there you can't see the outside, possibly a blessing. Let's put it like this, it's not a boring car. Which is a good thing.

Ron Sexsmith - Long Player Late Bloomer

2011-04-19T12:16:00.002+01:00

Now, to my shame, I hadn't really taken any notice of Ron here before I saw a recent documentary about him on BBC4. The programme was in fact about the man himself and the making of this album, which I ordered the very next day, so impressed was I.

The saying goes, you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, and this really applies to Ron, who just doesn't look the part. What's more, seeing him during the recording process you would never expect him to come up with the stuff he does. Shame on me. He's fantastic.

His singing is great, his song writing is better, he seems like a thoroughly decent chap adrift in a world that expects artists to be extroverts and usually a pain in the arse. He is neither, and that's really appealing. To me anyway

The music on offer here is gentle. It's beautifully produced by a chap who 'got' Ron and made the most of him, Bob Rock. Maybe it's a little too gentle in places, there's very little edge to any of the tunes, though the lyrics are exceptionally interesting.

If you've never listened to Ron, I'd give him a go... I know I got the album weeks ago and it's growing on me each time I play it, always better than the other way around.

Very highly recommended, 9/10, you could buy it here.

Fasthost "Support" - Laughable!

2011-02-22T09:00:00.005Z

And of course by putting the word "Support" in quotes in my title, I am indeed, as you'd expect, implying that Support is the very last thing they seem to actually provide.

I've been using Fasthosts for my own and my client's hosting for many a long year now. I've paid them a fair few bob over the years, and I've brought them new customers, in my capacity as a self employed web developer, (see www.xledev.co.uk).

Up until very recently, this has been a fairly stable and satisfactory symbiotic(ish) relationship, and I've happily sung their praises to anyone who was interested.

But it's all gone Pete Tong recently, because I've had troubles, and with these troubles has come the requirement to contact their Support department. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

I won't bang on, because if you search the web you'll find many examples of annoyed people who've fallen foul of Fasthosts in one way or another, but I can give you a couple of amusing examples, and a little advice.

There are two ways you can approach them, by phone or by email. By phone costs you money, and a great deal of time. Eventually you might get through to someone, but in my experience they will sound a very very long way away. They will be quiet, and there will be an annoying delay on the line, and though I totally admire people who have gained any sort of fluency I another language... I can't help but feel they don't really understand half of what you're telling them. When what you're telling them is technically complex, this can be, ah, problematical.

Then there's email. Email is quicker for you to actually create, but it is eye-wateringly long-winded to get anywhere. They never reply quicker than 24 hours, and often take longer. Their first reply is always just that, a reply, no effort having been made to solve anything. They will ask you for some more information. 24 hours will pass. In my experience, the next response will be from someone who has not actually read your email properly, it will be a knee jerk reaction, and it will probably imply that you are at fault. Reply, 24 hours pass. You might break through the drone wall at this point and get through to someone who actually understands what you want... maybe. They may help at this point, or they may ask for more info. You'll notice that a week has nearly passed. Eventually you might get it sorted, and they might gently apologise.

One example recently, was that when developing pages using ASP, their new hosting was not returning error messages, just a general purpose page which told you nothing. I made a page with an error on it, and called it "deliberate-error.asp" in order that they could see what I was on about. After three days of getting this across to them I received a message from them saying that the page I had given them had an error in it, and perhaps I should fix it myself! Doh!

I tried hard to lay off the sarcasm in my reply, because I reckon it may have been lost completely on this 'support' operative who, I imagine, was "not from round here".

I am currently locked out of my account, because when I log on I'm told that a transaction I instigated (I didn't) has failed due to a problem with the payment (it's a free option and is trying to take a payment of exactly £0.00). It says I should either update my payment method (I can't as it won't let me in to do so) or Cancel. When I click Cancel a message comes up saying it's "Unable To Cancel". Checkmate.

The support phone call I made about this suggested I should email in for support, as they didn't understand what I meant. I emailed in four days ago and am yet to get a response worth having.

Advice. Only ring them if it's not your own phone bill and you've nothing worth doing for an hour or so. If you email them, try and tell them absolutely everything about your account, including FTP details and password, cos that will save you at least one 24 hour cycle. Never type too much in the email to support as they clearly stop reading after the first sentence.

Finally, probably, use 1&1 for you hosting.

Fasthosts, as my teenage son would say : "Epic Fail!"

Arriva - Please Keep Your Distance

2011-02-13T15:50:00.007Z

Last week I was merrily rattling along in my car on the old school run, all was right with the world, I was in quite a good mood (for me). I was doing about 50mph along a straight bit of road in excellent visibility, when from a side road emerged a coach. I'm not sure, but I'm guessing the driver didn't even look in my direction, and he certainly ignored the Give Way sign staring him in the face.

He pulled straight out in front of me, causing me to brake violently. His smoking pile of junk then proceeded to accelerate at snails pace, belching toxic smoke, onward towards his next victim no doubt.

I avoided running right up the back of him by a few feet, and as I pulled back from him I glanced up at the neon display on the rear of this abomination. I was close enough to read through the grime, "62". For verily there is only one bus goes down this particular road, and it is indeed the 62.

But there was more... the 62 disappeared and a message came up in its place. I approached closer to read it, ironically.

"KEEP YOUR DISTANCE" it said.

My good mood shattered, I was stuck behind this flickering message for quite a long while, long enough for me to mull over some thoughts about this sign.

First and foremost of course, I heartily wished I could comply with this instruction, and keep a distance so great I would never have to see it again.

Secondly, just exactly what is "Your Distance", i.e. my distance, and what if my distance was about a foot... would that be okay? I suspect not.

Thirdly, which sad sack of bones sat down in his or her office at the Arriva HQ and thought to themselves, what on earth can we do now we've got these dot matrix signs for the bus numbers? Shall we flash up interesting info, like the time? (no! then they'd know we're running late!) or maybe a happy message like "Have a nice day" or "Sorry our antiquated piece of crap is holding you up"... No.

No... then inspiration came... "KEEP YOUR DISTANCE"... that's what we'll say to them. Ha ha!

Arriva, do us all a favour and just say "62" on your sign. That's all we really need to know. Thanks for the advise about the distance thing, but really, just a "62" will do.

Kate Rusby - Make the Light

2010-12-30T16:36:00.002Z

It is now a few years since I last reviewed a Kate Rusby album (see here), during which time, as I understand it, she's become a mum and put out a Christmas album, which I have to admit I've not bothered with. Bah Humbug... Christmas, thank the lord it's over. Anyway.

This album is, unlike her previous work, self-penned. Not being an avid reader of sleeve notes these days (due in no small part to how small the bloomin' writing is on the darn things) I would not have known this if I hadn't read it elsewhere.

The songs sound just the same as they usually do. Which is, of course, quite excellent.

I could bang on about each individual track, but in fact they all merge together into a wonderful calming glorious whole, leaving you with about 50 minutes of peace and tranquillity in an otherwise noisy and discordant world.

Having been a rock fan all my life, this sort of stuff should not impress me. But it does. Greatly. My previous purchase was some old noisy tosh from Them Crooked Vultures, which should be more my cup of tea given the participating artistes, but it leave me cold. Rusby leaves me warm, which is just what you want in our current icy climate. I think I'm on the change. Nurse! The screens!

Very highly recommended, 9/10, you could buy it here.

Microsoft Small Basic vs Roblox

2010-11-19T22:36:00.004Z

Can I commend to you a piece of software from Microsoft... how often do you get to say that? It's called Small Basic, and it's a free download.

I've been on the lookout for a programming language to encourage my 12 year old son Josh to get started on turning into a mini-version of me. I guess some dads, frustrated Wayne Rooneys, buy a football and march their kids out into the middle of a wet field. Me, I just want him to grasp the fundamentals of programming, especially as he wants one day to work for Media Molecule and develop Little Big Planet 8 or whatever.

I've not had a lot of success up to now, but this Small Basic is excellent, and after me showing him a quick demo program last evening, I couldn't prise him off it to go to bed. A breakthrough.

There are very few icons cluttering up the toolbar, and the whole process is very simple. You type code into one window, with an excellent IntelliSense system in place to help remember syntax, then hit Run and either a text window or a graphic window (or both) opens up and you get to see the results immediately.

It's entirely feasible to write little games like Snake and Breakout with this system, and there are plenty of examples on the Net to look at and learn from. Notably, the language uses a 'Turtle' to draw on the graphics screen, which I think is a Logo language like construct to make graphics a little more fun. It works, he loved it.

The beautiful simplicity (and relevance - the code looks like real Visual Basic) of Simple Basic is in stark contrast to my experience using the scripting language associated with Roblox. Now, you may not have come across Roblox, but it is an on-line game based on a Lego-like world. If you have children and they haven't heard of Roblox either, I would advise you don't tell them. Roblox, IMHO, is heroin for children. It is highly addictive. My lad has been on it for 12 months now, and shows no sign of getting bored with it, despite the fact it looks, to an adult, fairly dull and badly rendered. All I can add is that he had the briefest of dalliances with World of Warcraft recently, which appears interesting and looks marvellous - but did not stick at it more than a couple of months. I couldn't afford the fees for both, so he had to choose, and he chose Roblox in an instant.

One possible saving grace (for me) for Roblox is that it has a scripting language. Great, I thought, I'll get the little blighter into programming with that! But could I get it to work, could I coconuts. I'm a software developer of 30 years experience - and I could not get it working. Obviously some people can... maybe I'm being dense, but as an intro to programming it sucks, and I would advise against it.

Just while I'm ranting against Roblox, can I mention something? Roblox cost money to play, fair enough. But it has a currency that is vital to the kids enjoyment of the game. This currency costs real money too - not a lot, but it adds up over the months. If you were clever enough to write a good script, or you design a good costume or a game level, you can sell it to others in the Roblox community. That seems okay, you could reduce your gaming costs by being a bit clever. But even if you do, Roblox takes a percentage cut on all deals! You're enhancing their system by adding good content, and they still screw you for some cash for doing it. This is for kids remember. Humph.

Ahem.

The page for downloading Small Basic is currently here though I guess that might change. Highly Recommended.

Michael Collins - Carrying The Fire

2010-09-06T07:34:00.000+01:00

I've read quite a few books by astronauts recently, and some of them are reviewed elsewhere in this blog. But so far I have to say this is my favourite. It was written in 1974, less than five years after Collins had been to the moon, and it's written so well that you almost forget that you know the outcome of the story as the plot slowly unfurls.

You know he survives, you know the three of them returned in triumph from the moon, but somehow it all seems like a fresh adventure - I think because though this man's eyes it was a different journey to how we imagine.

For him it was the culmination of years of work, but was 'just' another flight, albeit a lot 'higher' than usual!

Collins would appear to be a thoroughly nice chap, and his ability to express how he feels about the trip to the moon and what it means for us all is very well written. All in all this book is a joy to read, having something for everyone. He deals with his emotions and physical shortcomings, his relationships with the other crew, and also goes into just enough technical detail of how difficult the flight was to satisfy any reader.

As the man who didn't make it to the surface, he's always had a certain amount of sympathy from me. By coincidence I was watching a concert by Al Murray the other night on the tv and Collins was the (unnamed) butt of one of his jokes. But in fact the man had a great time on the mission, and contributed heavily to the success of the mission - and does not seem unduly upset by not having actually stepped on the surface. Indeed, it would appear Buzz Aldrin has suffered worse for having gone but not having been quite the first man on the moon.

Collins is now 80 (in 2010) - as this book was written shortly after the flight I would love to know what he's done with part two of his life, a subject on which he contemplates in this book. A problem for him, he realised, as it's tough not to see life as all downhill after having done something so amazing. I really hope it all worked out well for him.

Recommended, 10/10,

you could buy the paperback version here

A Personal History of Diecast Cars

2010-08-20T08:38:00.006+01:00

Call me mad... but I decided to try and collect 1:43 scale models of all the cars I'd ever owned.

Had I realised the cost and difficulty involved, I would never have started... and, as you will learn below, ultimately the project led frustration and defeat!

Okay... so what I always wanted was :

What I got was:

	Mini A bad start, as the model is a Cooper and has little in common with my own car, though it does have the external door hinges. The Mini Van I have below is the right colour, but the wrong car... my search for a better match continues.
	MG Midget Apart from the colour and the not-wire wheels, this isn't to bad a match, I did in fact have the boot rack as depicted. This model was fairly expensive, but by now I was hooked on getting them all, so had to pay...
	Mini Clubman Estate I couldn't find a Clubman Estate at all, so had to settle for this van, which isn't a million miles away.
	VW Beetle This was one of those cover-mounts you get on part-works, and was dirt cheap on eBay. Pretty close.
	Triumph GT6 Another expensive one, but probably the nicest and most detailed model of the lot. Colour not quite right of course, but reg letter('K') correct and most bits correct. Possibly becoming a rarity, it was hard to get, watched out on eBay for months.
	Triumph TR7 The two TR7s are a mixture of right and wrong. This model has a sunroof and is X reg, which actually better fits the white one I actually owned, see below. Not bad though.
	Suzuki SJ410Q Pinched this from my son, who buy chance had it in his vast collection of Hot Wheels and Matchbox models. He has so many he'll never notice! The model is a later SJ413 I'd guess, and my car was the low powered SJ410.
	Ford Fiesta XR2 Another pricey one, and it wasn't really worth it, but for the good of the collection I forked out. There was a silver version but the prices for them on eBay were ridiculous, so when this black one came out I pre-ordered and got it for 25 odd quid. Left hand drive and the exact wrong colour, but pretty good detail.
	Opel Manta GT/E Again, a bit costly, but in this case worth it, as this is a stunning model, came from Germany again bought through eBay. Just a little younger than my real car, and lacks colour coded bumper and wheels, but looks just the dogs, that yellow is great.
	Triumph TR7 See above, this is the right colour but the wrong car, being an S reg and lacking the sunroof. The wheels are right though!
	Ford Escort MkIV Yes, well... what can I say, the model if considerably more interesting than the real version. It's quite a way off being a coupe and having the spoilers, but it looks good, and the real thing was just to dull to buy. If I see a closer one I'll get it, but this will do for now.
	Rover 414iS Arghhhhhh! Curses and damnation! If only I'd looked into this before I started. Now, I'd love someone to prove me wrong, but it turns out that the Rover 400 series had never attracted the attention of those who make these die-cast models. I can't think why. Yes... yes I can, they're just to damn dull! I've tried all sorts of 'cheats', like trying to find the very similar Honda Civic, tried for the MG S, but nothing appears to exist that's even close. Please let me know if I'm wrong. So... what to do... well my old Auntie Christine had a Rover just like the one here many many years ago, so that will have to do as a place-holder. Darn it!
	Astra 1.7 CDTI Coming right up to date, the Astra model is close but for the colour - the right age, right number of doors, wheels are close-ish. The next car I buy, I'm checking first to see if the model exists, and is easy and cheap to get!

Head Lice The Truth

2010-06-18T09:03:00.003+01:00

This story was told to me by one of the Mums at my kids school. I have no reason to think it's not all true.
	Said Mum has a son, who doesn't like having his hair cut. But one Saturday she dragged the lad into a hair salon, plonked him down and the hairdresser set about her work. She parted his hair, and lo, there were head lice everywhere. Off they went to the local chemist, the Mum mortified, even though, as I understand it, there's no actual need to feel ashamed about this common occurrence.
Anyway, she nervously approached the assistant, and in a low voice said "excuse me, but you have anything for head lice?" The girl turned and started rummaging under the counter. After some time she stood, turned and shouted across the shop to a colleague, with a Polish accident: "I'm sorry, but I cannot find any prescription here for a Mrs Headlice, where should I be looking?" Apparently the rest of the people in the shop cracked up on hearing this, and the deeply embarrassed Mum was soon laughing along with the rest of them. Classic.

Cumbrian Shootings

2010-06-05T09:09:00.001+01:00

You know how the new government are going to have to save money from now on, to pay off our national debt?
	Well... here's a suggestion for you, and I don't want to sound heartless, really I don't, but how about not wasting millions investigating the recent shootings in Cumbria? I heard yesterday there were a hundred detectives on the case. What the hell are they all doing? I mean they haven't got to capture anyone have they... no case to prove, no trial. What's the bloody point?
Surely what actually happened is in fact easy enough to explain. I expect a lot of us will have had a PC that worked absolutely fine for years, switched on in a morning, did the job, and gave nary a hint of a problem. Then one sunny day it switches on but is all over the place, won't do anything right, acts like a mad thing. The same must be true for this taxi driver... something inside him snapped, and off he went on his rampage. All extremely unfortunate, but will it really do anybody any good to analyse this all to death and then come to the inevitable conclusion that he just went of his rocker? Let's save a few bob on the national debt and just move on.

Hewlett Packard - Very, very disappointing, but goodbye.

2010-04-11T09:15:00.002+01:00

I know it’s a bit dull, but I’m going to have to have a bit of a rant about HP and their apparent very poor attitude to customers.
	I’ve always been a bit of an HP fan, actually, I've owned and own three or four HP printers, a couple of scanners and several Compaq PCs. Everything was going pretty well, until the moment when I decided to drag myself kicking and screaming into the world of Windows 7. Then it all went Pete Tong, and, unusually, it seems that Microsoft are not really to blame… no, the buck stops with Hewlett Packard, and they have been found lamentably wanting.
My nicest, newest printer is a Deskjet 5940. “Cleverly” Windows 7 detected the printer with no drivers to download, so it just worked. Marvellous. Well, marvellous until the printer decided to print badly. No problem, I thought, clean the heads. Now then… how do you do that? In the good old XP days I’d go to some HP centre thingy and click to clean and/or align the heads… now there’s nowhere to go. Off to HPs site… yes, the printer works under W7, but no, we’ve not been arsed to allow you to do maintenance, like head cleaning. What? And that leaves me where, exactly? And then there’s my HP Scanjet 5300C scanner. Sorry… but we can’t be arsed to write W7 drivers for it, why not throw it away and buy a new one from us? Do you really think I would? And then there’s my sister in law’s all-in-one HP printer/scanner, an Officejet D145. She unknowingly bought (from Amazon, shame on you) an out of date ink cartridge for it. The printer just wouldn’t use it… until I removed the battery in the printer to reset the date, then it worked fine. The cartridge is a box full of ink. If it works, it works. Why does the printer refuse to use it because of a date? So they can sell more ink? I think maybe yes. Added to which, though it will work occasionally, the scanner of this great lump of a thing has started giving an error message. That error stops the printer working. There's nothing wrong with the bloody printer. But because of the scanner problem (which may be caused by another whim of HP's to sell us new kit) the whole thing is now a piece of useless junk. I find it hard to imagine the meeting at HP where they came up with all this blatant built-in-obsolescence bullshit, but did they really think that if they take this attitude we'd run out and buy more HP kit? Frankly, after the last few weeks I may NEVER buy anything from HP again. I'm not saying Epson and the like are better, but I'm damn well going to buy from them in future until I get to find out whether they are or not... Bye bye HP.

Ford Focus vs Vauxhall Astra - Revisited

2009-12-18T09:56:00.001Z

Slightly over a year has passed since my previous article on this topic, so time for an update. (see HERE)

Just to set the scene, I'm comparing a 5 year old Astra with a similar spec 1 year old Focus. However, I've driven both from new, so I think my thoughts are pretty relevant in a head to head contest as I'm sure the Astra hasn't changed much in the intervening period.

The Astra has now reached 92,000 miles, and the Focus is catching up, currently at 23,000 miles. In the last year neither has broken down, both have maintained their fuel consumption figures remarkably consistently, at about 53 mpg. In fact neither car has suffered any form of mechanical or electrical malfunction recently, a testament to how well they build these things these days.

I've just re-read my previous article, and to be honest, not much to say here in fact. Initial impressions turned out to be about right for the Focus. A year on, and many miles under its belt, it remains the same. The comparative lack of 'go' has not gone away as the engine loosened up, and frequently I get caught out trying to accelerate from low revs, as would be easy in the Astra, and the Focus just bogs down. However, on the other side of the coin, the engine is a lot quieter than the Astra, which seems to be getting noisier by the day, now very 'clacky'. Which is normal, says my local Vauxhall dealer. Hmmm.

Despite the sporty feel of the Focus, the ride remains harsh and noisy. It is more fun to drive on a blast down windy roads, it is not so much fun on a dull motorway slog, the quiet engine is fine, but the tyre roar is worse by far.

The Focus continues to niggle me with small things. For example, the Astra's electric windows still work for a minute or so after you've switched it off. So, if you forget to raise one of the windows, you still can. The Focus, no, you'll have to rummage for your keys and switch it back on. The Focus Radio/CD player does not pick up the time from the radio, and the clock runs slow. Every time you set the time right, the date goes wrong. It drives you nuts. The Astra does it for you. Small things I know...

So, not really a lot to choose, but on the whole we now regret choosing the Focus as a replacement for the Astra last year. We did it (well, okay, I did it... I'll take the blame) just to avoid being boring. But in fact a replacement Astra would have been better, we feel. Not that the Focus is bad, but it's disappointingly not as good as other road tests seem to imply.

The next version of the Astra is due out soon I think, and to me looks really nice. If my lucky old partner gets a chance to choose her next company car in three years time, I can quite imagine a new Astra will be returning to our driveway. Question is, in three years time, would I relinquish my Astra and buy the (by then) old Focus? I'm guessing not.

William Shatner - Up Till Now

2009-07-30T10:39:00.001+01:00

This was an impulse purchase, based on a brief but funny interview given by William Shatner to Jonathan Ross a few months back. I had not really been aware of what Shatner was like as a real bloke... just as a starship captain. And the answer was... very funny!

The book is chronologically organised, but it also jumps around quite a lot. I guess, as we know how his story turns out, there was little point keeping up a tension on the will-he won't-he make-it-big? part of his early acting career.

It seems to be just a splurge of his thoughts and memories, and he frequently gets side-tracked. This works well, as he usually comes up with a funny anecdote on each diversion. And his anecdotes are pretty unusual... he's certainly had an exciting time over the years.

But the most surprising thing about his story is just how little a part Star Trek took. In effect he did all that Captain Kirk stuff, Star Trek turned out to be only mildly successful and he moved on to other projects.

It was only later that the Trek phenomenon really kicked in. The list of other acting roles he's done goes on and on. Basically, he seems rarely to have said "No" to any offer. And only recently has his contribution to the acting world been recognised.

I found myself laughing out loud at many of his tales, I just hope they really did happen! If they are, it's a miracle he's still alive.

Recommended, 8/10, you could buy the paperback version here.

Police Car Chases

2009-06-28T10:42:00.002+01:00

News today of yet another fatal crash involving a police chase. Can I put it to you that the police should NOT be allowed to chase vehicles on our roads, no matter where or why?

In life today, it seems to me, there are many, many rules and regulations that attempt to avoid death and injury, and some of these rules are quite obscure and 'only' save a few lives here and there. If it's your life of course, then they are very good rules indeed.

Allowing police officers to chase car thieves and the like, however, does seem an outstandingly obvious area which should be tightened up. I don't care how many cars get stolen, it's still not worth a life (or lives) to catch the thief.

And I don't care how stringently the police say their drivers are trained, because the moment they set off in pursuit of an excitable teenager in a stolen BMW, everyone for miles around is in grave danger. Let them get away, catch them later using forensics or something, but DON'T chase them. Surely?

It's one of my pet topics, so I'll raise it again, but wouldn't it be interesting to see some really clear statistics on car chases. How many car chases per year involving the police are there? How many result in catching the thief? How many result in death and injury?

If the answer to that last question is more than one, then I suggest we make them stop doing it.

You're 14. You've fallen in with some bad mates. They have a few bottles of cider one night and decide to pinch a car. You end up in the back seat, lurching around, having a laugh. Suddenly there are blue flashing lights behind you. Your 'mate' driving the car panics and puts his foot down. Suddenly he's lost control and the car bounces off a kerb, and the last thing you see is the lamppost that's going to cause your death.

Or. You're out walking the dog. It's a pleasant evening, you cross the road to chat to a neighbour. There's squeal of tyres behind you and you turn to see a terrified teenager at the wheel of speeding car heading straight for you, closely pursued by the old bill. Your life is extinguished because the police were attempting to prevent the theft of an ageing banger.

So... maybe the cops should be issued with bubble cars, as above?

MPs' Expenses

2009-05-12T10:15:00.000+01:00

Today I heard two interviews on the topic of the MP's Expenditure furore. One was from an MP, who sat there meekly admitting that he was going to have to return 40 thousand pounds to set the record straight. He ("and my wife") were going to have a jolly good old think about where to get this 40k from. He looked sad and pathetic and you could almost have felt sorry for him had it not been YOU and ME he stole this extraordinary amount of cash from. The twat.

And the other interview was with Stephen Fry, for whom I have a lot of time, but with who, on this occasion, I disagree. He said that the whole expenses debacle was unimportant in the grand scheme of things, and a diversion from the real issues, such as impending financial meltdown, pandemics, war, etc etc.

And that everyone (look to camera) has fiddled their expenses. Everyone.

Well... actually, I haven't. And, being self employed, it would be rather silly of me to do so. The boss would definitely spot it.

And when people do fiddle their expenses, I would argue, firstly it would not be for such huge amounts of money as these MPs have managed, and secondly, it matters greatly because it's MY BLOODY MONEY. (And yours).

Just what do these people think they're up to? Where do they think the money is coming from, for them to have their garden gnomes polished or whatever? They must know it's tax payers money. So... they're just ordering another jacuzzi and sticking it on the ex's - do they think, some poor little sod in a factory has worked his gonads off to contribute tax to the country, and I'm going to blow it on this thing and I'm really going to enjoy the bubbles, ha ha!?

They are, as Terry Thomas would have said, "An absolute shower".

Tell you what I want, MPs. I want the money back. Yes I know they're giving it back, but I myself, ME, I want something back. I don't want you tossing a wodge into the collective pot only to find some new way to get it out again. I want... ohhh... a Mars bar. Yes. I want a Mars bar. A Mars bar for everyone. That should do it. Oh, and I want it hand delivered, by an MP, and I want hime to be sincerley contrite when he delivers it. Oh and I want to kick his arse as he (or she) walks away.

Not too much to ask... is it?

2009-02-08T10:45:00.003Z

There is a famous black and white photo of the original Radio One DJs, taken when the station was just about to open. There are some familiar faces, and some strangers. There's a young Terry Wogan, Tony Blackburn, and Kenny Everett. And down at the front, looking a little uncomfortable, is a young John Peel

Now, I cannot claim that I actually ever listened to his shows that much. When he played music that I (subsequently) liked, I was too young to stop up that late. And by the time I could stay up, he was often playing utter rubbish (in my humble opinion).

However, it doesn't really matter that I didn't go along with much of the music he played, it was that he really believed in it himself. I cannot imagine he ever said he liked, or disliked, a record for any other reason than that he really did.

He had what so very few celebrities have, utter credibility. In spades.

The BBC coverage of Glastonbury will never have the gravitas that he gave it. His radio show was just an institution, and is sorely missed. This book has two shots of him on the cover. The rear shows him as a young man, the front as an old chap. Worryingly, both pictures look scarily like me, at a similar age. Separated at birth?

So, the book. It's a really good read. It gives an insight into his life. It is only peripherally about music. It often made me laugh out loud. It also highlights something I didn't know just by listening to him speak... he could really write too.

The book is arranged curiously, but interestingly. The articles, none more than a page or two long, are ordered by alphabetical order of title, not chronologically. So one minute you can be back in the seventies, and then flung forward into the recent past, and then back again in a few pages. Surprisingly, this works. It's an interesting exercise to read the pieces and ignore the date, and at the end try and work out when it was written.

Okay, he clearly becomes increasingly curmudgeonly as time goes by, but the wit always remained. And it is so nice to hear him criticising the rubbish we've had foisted on us over the years, but with no real malice, and equally his generous praise for people who, frankly, don't deserve it - but if that's how he felt, fair enough, eh?

Recommended, 9/10, you could buy the hardback version here.

Ford Focus vs Vauxhall Astra

2008-12-10T09:59:00.001Z

It just so happens that I'm in an excellent position to compare and contrast the merits of the Ford Focus TDCI and the Vauxhall Astra CDTI. The missus is fortunate enough to get a company car, and a few years ago she acquired the Astra.

After four years she had to change to a new car, and this time, mostly just for a change, she plumped for the Focus. And I bought the Astra from the leasing company. So we now have both, and I get to drive both regularly.

They both have the 100bhp version diesel engines, of very similar spec. They are of a similar trim level. They have similar performance and fuel economy.

So, which (as Harry Hill would say) is best? Only one way to find out... fight!

Okay, not quite a fair fight, as the Astra has done 85,000 miles and the Focus about 3,000. However, I drove the Astra when it was brand new, so I think I can do a fair comparison.

Performance

Not much in it (yet - maybe the Focus will eventually free up a bit). There's no denying that the Astra has a noisier engine, when pootling along it sounds very tractor-ish, and the Focus does not. But when it comes to overtaking and so on, they are very similar - and that is to say they're both very good, considering. If anything, and I admit the Focus engine may be still tight, the Astra has more go. The Focus is quiet alright, but it also seems to need a few more revs to get going.

Economy

Not much in it again... though I know it's early days for the Focus. Over 80k miles the Astra has managed 53 mpg, and the Focus is doing 54 mpg so far, which is a little disappointing when they claimed it would do 60. Not too shabby though, in either case.

Handling

A clear winner here, is the Focus. However, it has got quite an advantage here, as its got nice low-profile tyres and is definitely a lot stiffer in the suspension. It also has adjustable steering weight, and when you crank it around to Sport mode, it's very communicative, and quite noticeably heavier to steer. The Astra, on normal boots and no such pretensions to sportiness, handles perfectly acceptably. I've never had a nasty moment in it, rain or shine. However, if you drive the Focus and immediately then drive the Astra, you start wondering if the Astra's tyres are the right pressure (they are) - it feels, in contrast, very imprecise compared to the Focus. So... Focus wins for sportiness, Astra wins for ease and comfort.

Brakes

Easy win to the Astra. Despite it's newness and it's higher price, the Focus has rear drums, the Astra has disks all round. The pedal feel is much better in the Astra, and though I suspect they'd both pull up in about the same distance, the Astra has a superior feel, giving greater confidence.

Body

Unfortunately the Astra is a (to me) nasty dark blue, whereas the Focus is a very bright red, and this helps the Focus look much better immediately. However, though the new Focus shape is easily the nicest incarnation of the marque so far, it still for me retains a somewhat dull jelly-mould outline. The Astra has a good shape... and when they make it into a coupé, well it looks really good. Shut lines are good on both. Not entirely sure the Astra headlights look good, I have heard them described as being like cheap plastic torches. The Astra doors clunk shut with a reassuring solidity, and the Focus in comparison feels slightly flimsy... and another small point, those places on door opening where the door is held mid-way... handy in tight parking bays... Astra's are good, Focus's are bad, no strength to 'em.

Interior

No contest here... Astra wins by a mile. Its interior feels classy, and again reassuringly solid. The plastic looks good, there are some nice styling touches, and nothing glaringly out of place. In contrast the Focus has one or two really nasty features. What were they thinking when they added the shiny stripes to the otherwise quite attractive seats? As for comfort, well, the Focus has lumbar adjustment and the Astra does not. Having said that, the Astra is more comfortable for me, reason being the Focus - even when adjusted to its widest setting - is still a little tight. I know I could do with losing a few pounds, but I'm not really huge. You could argue the Focus would hold you well while driving fast down country lanes, but in real life it just squeezes you (well me) a bit too much when cruising down duel carriageways. The Focus cabin is a lighter and larger place to be, the rear seats of the Astra suffer from having quite deep doors, with small windows, not great for allowing a view out for youngsters. Instruments, well the Focus has an immediate appeal, but on closer inspection they look a little cheap somehow. The Astra is more classy, though mine lacks the computer display that the Focus has, showing all sorts of interesting if distracting information as you drive along. The Focus is four years more modern I guess, and did cost a couple of grand more, so fair enough, it wins on IT. One big feature of the Focus is a heated front windscreen, which is absolutely the dog's in weather like we've been having recently. Oh, and one last thing... the Astra does not have a temperature gauge. I don't know why, but I find them reassuring somehow and I miss it. Oh, and one last, last thing... the Astra defaults to AirCon off, the Focus defaults to AirCon on. I'm not sure why the Focus does this... I mean it's not the greenest thing to do, is it? I think on the whole I'd prefer to forget to put it on, rather than have to remember to switch it off every time I start the car.

ICE

Another clear win to the Astra, which has the best OEM in-car stereo I've ever owned. Your ears give up before the sound distorts, it's truly excellent. But more than anything else, I prefer the Astra because it has an MP3 CD player, and MP3 CDs on long journeys are fantastic things. Make up a 'mixed tape' of albums, and not have to fanny about changing discs for hours! Magic. The Focus may be four years newer... but oddly has just a normal CD player, no MP3. Neither has a USB port, though at least the Focus has a line-in connector, for what that's worth.

Reliability

Okay, well I admit it's early days for the Focus. But it was delivered in fault free condition, and nothing has gone wrong so far. The Astra has been pretty good over 80k miles, but has fallen down on a few points that are not uncommon, I've read. The pre-delivery check revealed a faulty power-steering unit. The rear tailgate opening switch failed. The petrol gauge gave an inaccurate reading, which resulted in running out of fuel, the only fault to cause a cry for help. The radio kept switching itself on in the middle of the night, and was replaced. It's currently suffering from a rear-brake squeal that no-one seems to be able to cure. But it's all pretty small beer... overall it's been top notch.

Result

Taking the age of the Astra out of the equation, so they're both sitting there in as-new condition, well, it's a close run thing. If it was me, I'd just go for the Focus, on the grounds that it's a sportier package, and the engine is way quieter. I think if you asked the missus, she'd pick the Astra, because she's not interested in the sportiness, and thinks the Astra is a nicer and more comfortable place to be. (Pity, therefore, we actually have the cars the other way around, doh!)
I will update this article as and when the Focus reveals its true colours... or not as the case may be.

And lo, a year on, I've posted that article... click HERE.

AC/DC - Black Ice

2008-10-31T10:48:00.000Z

I won't trouble you much with this review. It's short and sweet.

You either like AC/DC... or... I don't want you reading my blog, so please leave now!

As has been said, I suspect, in every review of this album, it's just what you would expect from AC/DC. There are no ballads. They haven't thrown in a rap. It's the same old thing

And of course that means it's just brilliant.

It's Dad Rock. I'm a Dad. It works for me.

The only thing I'd add is that after the initial euphoria of hearing the songs for the first time has worn off... well... it starts to get better! Yes, it's a grower... there is depth there, these are good songs.

These guys are old now... Angus is in fact my age, which must mean he's probably creaking and groaning when he picks up a dropped plectrum. But they know how to put a rock song together, and the 'young guns' of the rock world would be well advised to check out just how it should be done.

Recommended, 10/10, you could buy it here.

The Big Picture of the Big Economy

2008-09-10T11:17:00.001+01:00

If you run web sites, as I do, you will know that most proper hosting packages come with a Statistics package. This enables you to see how many hits and sessions and so on that your site is receiving. They vary, but most of these stats suites allow you to see an overall picture of things, and then you can 'drill down' to get more detail.

I spend quite a bit of time looking at these things. You can fine tune your sites, see which bits are working, and which bits nobody goes anywhere near.

They start off by telling you the Big Picture, just how much activity there has been recently. Then you start to look at certain areas, and see how many hits a particular page gets. And so on.

If you really want to get your hands dirty, you can even track a visitors entire session, know just exactly where they came from, how long they stayed, where they went and when they left.

It struck me the other day how wonderfully illuminating it would be to do this exercise on the Economy of the Country.

Let's imagine (I'm assuming it doesn't exist, if it does, please tell me where!) a web site that had up-to-date figures on just where all the money in the country came from, and where it was going to.

I mean, have you any idea? Do you know how much of the tax payers money is going towards the Iraq thing? What percentage goes to the National Health? How much of the money from petrol tax goes back on road improvements?

I guess you could find this stuff out if you know where to look, but I'd like just one place, where there is on show for all to see The Big Picture. Income £X billion. Expenditure £Y billion. And then the ability to look inside those figures, all the way down. It would be fascinating. Is there anyone out there who actually knows these answers? Hopefully Mr. Darling does.

How about sharing with us all then? Interesting certainly, probably outrageous, and probably a sure fire way to lose an election. I can't see it ever existing. Pity. I mean, it should exist, it is our money, after all.

Flexible Cystoscopy - Ow!

2008-06-09T11:30:00.002+01:00

No articles have been posted recently, which is probably a relief to many, but I apologise anyway. I've not been well, you know.

No, a couple of months ago I was struck down - fine one minute, then in a hospital bed the next. I woke early that day with a pain in my back and great need to pee... but unfortunately there was nothing to pee. It went away. Then it came back. And got worse and worse till in the end I found myself lying in a hospital bed pretty much begging for a pain killer.

Eventually they jabbed me with morphine and dosed me up through a drip. Relief came.

Next morning, the pain returned, and so did the jab... and then I got better. Three days of hospital food later (well, actually after the first day I opted for sandwiches... it seemed safer) I was released.

Despite many tests and scans and x-rays, nobody seemed too sure what had gone wrong, except that my kidneys had clearly got infected, and maybe the bladder was to blame.

So, I was booked in for a bladder inspection. I'd never really thought about such a thing before, but as soon as you do think about it, and you consider the best way to get into your bladder without resorting to a knife... well, you can't help but fret a bit.

It turns out they use one of these things, see left.

Yes. They use that flexible 'thin' bit to go up your, well, let's say "old man", and enter the bladder for a jolly good root around.

It's possible you've found this article because you too have never heard of a 'flexible cytoscopy', and you're just about to have one, and you've gone on t'internet to find out more.

If so, I'd probably stop reading now.

I mean, you know I'm still alive, aren't I? So you will survive it. But I'm not going to sit here and tell you it's anything other than extremely unpleasant. They gave me a little booklet, which implied it wasn't that bad at all. Walk in the park. In and out, bish-bash-bosh, no problemo. The liars!

It was made worse for me, as my doctor was called away to an emergency just before it was my 'go'. So I had to stew for 2 hours beforehand. By the time he came back I was a little freaked out. But I kept thinking of the reassuring noises the booklet had made. If I'd known, I would have fled before the doc came back!

Lying on my back, legs akimbo, everything exposed, complete strangers wandering around in great numbers, the doctor eventually slapped a bit of 'anaesthetic' on the end... on the, er business end. I really doubt it did anything, it didn't have time, because the guy immediately inserted the thin end (he said it was the thin end... it felt like the thick) - and did that sting!

Actually 'sting' doesn't really do it justice.

And then he had to get it past the sphincter (yes, there's one in their too, apparently), and on into the bladder. And just to make it worse, all this was visible just above me on a great big wide-screen colour monitor.

"This may be uncomfortable" he quipped. He wasn't kidding.

Oh... I can still feel it now.

I'd like to say it was a great relief when it was withdrawn, but in truth it remained just as painful for some time without it there at all.

If I had my time again, I'd tell them I felt great and run for it. Very luckily for me, it showed up no problems, so in a sense it was a waste of time/pain. There is still no explanation being offered for what went wrong.

Though, this incident is a cracking ice breaker at parties - to be able to say you've seen the inside of your own bladder, well, I guess not everyone could claim that.

Mind you, next time (not that there will be a next time!) I will keep my eyes firmly shut.

A Personal History of Cars

2008-02-07T11:37:00.002Z

The whole reason I set up the DriveArchive site was to find out where my old motors had gone to.

A chronological list of the cars I've owned:

	Mini First car, obvious choice. I had no idea what I was doing when I bought it, no idea about mileages, no clue how to spot a dud. I was lucky, it was actually quite reliable. I slowly trashed it. Bits fell off, I used and abused it, ultimately smashed it through a hedge, I bodged repairs, I bodged bodywork, oh dear oh dear. What I'd give to have it back, just as it was back then.
	MG Midget Suddenly got an idea that sports cars would be fun. And this was. If you see a Midget on the road today you'll know that they were named very appositely. They are so small, and as I am not myself, I wonder how I got in the thing. Went everywhere in it, usually with the top down. Not fast, not quiet, but very reliable and a good laugh. Except in snow. I really hope someone preserved it. I doubt they did. 0-60mph - 14.8 secs 95mph top speed 65 bhp
	Mini Clubman Estate What on earth I was thinking I don't know. I mean it wasn't a bad car. But why I went from sporty young blade in an MG to this shopping trolley I just cannot now recall. I'd just about got the hang of the mechanicals of cars by now, so I didn't cause this car anywhere near as much damage as the previous two.
	VW Beetle My mate Roy sold me this for next to nothing. I ran around in it for a few months, while bodging over the rust and tarting it up for a quick sale. An interesting driving experience, those girder like bumpers certainly commanded respect, and once you'd wound it up to speed, leaving your noise behind you, it was a relaxed motorway cruiser. 0-60mph - 20+ secs 78mph top speed 40 bhp
	Triumph GT6 Aha. Now this is it a bit more like it. Almost a proper sports car. The GT6 was fast. Great big engine, and hardly anything to it. A mini E-type. Sort of. I eventually stripped it out, replaced all the carpets, refurbished the mechanicals, rust-proofed it, and I hope that somewhere out there it still exists. Sold to a guy in Stone, Staffs, called Stuart I think. Bonkers rear suspension, though. And Overdrive! Huh? 0-60mph - 9.5 secs 112mph top speed 98 bhp
	Triumph TR7 Hang on a minute, I'm filling up. Oh how I loved this car. I know TR7s have a terrible reputation. I don't care. This car was just great. It looked great (to me). It went fast, it handled quite well. It was a full sized car, not like the Midget and the GT6. I went all over in it, even slept in it once. I cannot recall it ever breaking down. I was mad to sell it. Please tell me it survived. Please. 0-60mph - 10.8 secs 108mph top speed 105 bhp
	Suzuki SJ410Q And another odd choice. There I was with the love-of-my-life-TR7, and I decided to buy the slowest car in the universe. My first new car, it cost £4.5k, about the same as a Ford Fiesta at the time, but I thought it would be a lot more interesting. It was, in a cold, slow, bumpy sort of way. Good off-road, fun on beaches, nice on a summer day with the top down. Absolutely un-drivable on motorways. Top speed 60 with the wind behind you. 0-60mph - a long time 68mph top speed 45 bhp
	Ford Fiesta XR2 Another favourite, perhaps the best car I've had. It went like stink, really did. And, unlike previous cars I'd had, this one handled! Oh it was a harsh ride. Front tyres wore out in 6k miles. But it was fun, fun, fun. Nice inside too. Sunroof. Gosh I used to drive it fast. Never had a dodgy moment in it, though. Good brakes, good grip, just plain good all over. 0-60mph - 10.1 secs 106mph top speed 84 bhp
	Opel Manta GT/E This beauty cost me £7,500 back in 1984. At the time I hated Capris, and wanted something that did the same job, but was better. The Manta had a rallying pedigree, and looked just fabulous in white, I thought. I never quite bonded with it, like with the XR2 above. It was faster, but it felt slower. It was a lovely car, until the day I over-did it in the wet and bashed it up a grass bank. The garage botched the repairs, and it was never right after that. Its end was ignominious... it just rotted away. I waxoyled it when new, but blocked a chassis drain hole, leading to water just standing inside, which eventually rusted through. It only did 75,000 miles. What a waste. 0-60mph - 9.0 secs 122mph top speed 110 bhp
	Triumph TR7 Now you'd think I'd have learned my lesson, but no, I bought another TR7. This one, theoretically, should have been better. It was a five speed, and not Speke made. But it was pretty ropey. And, it was rusty. It had a very good sunroof, and did go quite well, but hadn't the charm of my earlier model. 0-60mph - 10 secs 110mph top speed 105 bhp
	Ford Escort MkIV When it was new, and owned by my then partner, this was a pretty good car. Unfortunately by the time I got it, it was somewhat tarnished. It had had a minor bump, which had holed the radiator, but the car was driven on until the engine exploded. The engine was replaced. But somehow the car felt loose and rattly and a bit rough after that. I should have kept it, with it's new engine, but for reasons which escape me now, I decided to trade it in for... 0-60mph - 11.7 secs 109mph top speed 90 bhp
	Rover 414iS I paid £12,000 for this car. Just before car prices started to fall. What a dummy. And the thing was nice, but it wasn't that much nicer than the Escort it replaced. It had one huge problem, that the transmission was very jumpy. To start off and change up through the low gears smoothly was impossible. I came to hate the car because of this, and nobody could seem to fix it... maybe it was me... maybe my clutch foot is just rubbish. I dunno. It had nice alloys, and it was quiet and comfortable and quite frugal. Once I'd sold it, I quite missed it. 0-60mph - 11 secs 111 mph top speed 103 bhp There's a full story of this car in the Articles section of DriveArchive.
	Astra 1.7 CDTI The more powerful of the two diesel versions available, thankfully. Has been 'in the family' from new, and I've acquired it from the leasing company as it turns 4 years old, having done over 80,000 miles. It's averaged over 53mpg so far, and has a fair turn of speed in the mid range, making it reasonably fun to drive. Slower speeds reveal a tractor-like engine noise, but the quicker you go, the less apparent that is. Hate the colour, should have chosen red. Nice alloys. Terrific stereo. Has been replaced by a leased Focus, with which it compares quite well, the Focus having a more sporty feel and more gizmos. However, it lacks the Astra's solidity, and surprisingly has an inferior sound system and interior trim feels less well put together. The Focus's engine (again a diesel) is much quieter and refined, though. 0-60mph - 11.3 secs 112mph top speed 100 bhp

Slow Drivers, Fast Drivers, Good Drivers and Speed Limits

2008-02-07T11:34:00.001Z

Now then. People who drive slowly. I got stuck behind one today, and it made me think... (I had a lot of time.)

Do you know what this road sign means?

I bet you haven't seen it very often.

I can't recall ever having seen one.

But it's in the Highway Code.

It's a MINIMUM speed limit of 30mph.

Blimey! What a great concept! Woo hoo!

I live in North Wales - which means two things. Firstly speeding has become all but suicidal due to Ubermeister Brunstrom's obsession with sending his troops to hide around corners and in vans waiting to get you (I'm surprised they find the time what with all the other things they have to do, like, um, ah). And secondly, it's a major retirement area.

I'm not young myself, not by a long shot. But it's just a plain fact that older folk, in the main, drive slowly. I have no problem with that, I'm slowing up myself. BUT, and this is a big but, when the car in front of you insists on going at 20mph through built up areas, because there's a chance the speed camera van might be there, then it's all gone too far.

I mean, you (and all the other poor saps trying to get on with their lives in the queue with you) can't easily overtake, safely, in a 30 limit. You're just stuck. This is not fair. I've always said that I prefer speedy boy racers to slow coaches, because you see the boy racer, then he's gone in a flash, but the dawdler, you're stuck with, seemingly forever.

So... to address two problems in one go, here's my idea. Firstly, all 30 limits (and 40s, and 50s) have an IMPLIED minimum speed limit of their value too. Go too fast or too slow in these areas, and you're nicked, my son.

Cracking idea, huh? No! you cry, because who's going to police that idea. We are, that's who!

If you see someone who frankly ought not to be on the road going either too fast or too slow, you report them. However, to avoid vindictiveness, there must be, say, three independent complaints for it to proceed. And in a slow moving queue stuck behind one of these snails, that would be easily achieved!

Okay, okay it wouldn't work. But surely there's a way? Please. Somebody. Sort it out!

(oh and I would really like to see one of those minimum speed limit signs before I die.)

Petrol Prices

2008-01-28T12:29:00.000Z

I was watching the old goggle box this morning, thinking that if the BBC spent as much on the programmes as they did on the bits between programmes, we'd all be a lot happier I imagine, when the topic of petrol came to mind.

And bubblejet printer ink. And saffron. And heating oil. I've had to buy all of these things recently, and they're all madly expensive, suddenly. Well, maybe not the saffron, that's always been a bit daft.

Yesterday I order a 2 gigabyte SD memory card for my new Canon S5 IS bridge camera, of which more another day. From Play.com it cost 15 quid. 15 quid! It's amazing. I also ordered 4 ink cartridges for two printers. 68 quid. That's amazing too, but not in the same way. And when they arrive they will be weeny little boxes, massively over packaged, containing the odd drip of ink which may or may not come spurting out satisfactorily. Hmmm.

On the one hand, a marvel of modern technology, 2,000,000,000 bytes of information held on a thing the size of a stamp. £15. Some coloured liquid, £68. "Are they having a laugh?"

Anyway. Petrol.

So, oddly enough for a chap with a passion for cars, with a website about cars, and a section of his blog about cars - actually I don't own a car. I won't bore you with why not... though in truth it's just one word - impecuniousness (if I had a pound for every letter in "impecuniousness"...) - but at present I am fated to be using my partner's Peugeot 206. Which I hate. Again, another story.

But for reasons best known to my psychologist, I have been recording the petrol consumption of this car since it was new, back in May 2001. Since you ask... it's averaged 47.28 mpg over this period, which I consider to be fairly rubbish. Because in that time the thing has just pootled around, never going far, never going fast, (it's a 1.1 - it doesn't do fast) just a nice journey of 10 to 15 miles per trip - ideal conditions for good consumption. So 47 mpg I think is a bit weedy. But never mind, maybe I'm being harsh.

The point... back in 2001, I note from my rather sadly comprehensive notes on this topic, petrol was 68.9p a litre, or in terms my brain can more easily deal with, £3.13 a gallon.

My last fill up, buying as cheaply as I could from good old Tesco's, was 105.9p per litre, or £4.81 a gallon. I'm not good at maths, but I'd say that was an increase of over 50%.

Now, 2001 is not that long ago, is it? We've recently crashed through that pound-a-litre psychological barrier, and I suspect it will never go back. In terms of pounds per gallon (which let's be honest - a lot better way to judge, I mean we talk in terms of miles-per-gallon, don't we?) - the five pound gallon looms.

And at ever rise, Gordon's huge percentage tax take gets bigger and bigger. We had a strike for a lot less than this a few years ago. Is there nothing we can do? Are we just waving a white flag and giving up on this one?

If you're interested in mpg, then you might appreciate a bit Freeware what I wrote, it takes your readings of mileage and fuel price and amount bought between top-ups and gives the answer, it's downloadable from here:
Zip Version
or
Exe Version

Jeremy Clarkson - Don't Stop Me Now

2008-01-27T12:26:00.001Z

If I may, I'd like to review this book in the manner of Mr. Clarkson himself. Ahem.

Firstly, I'd like to point out to you that although the production of a book may well involve the destruction of an ecologically valuable tree or two somewhere in the world, I can demonstrate with a flip one-liner that this is of no consequence whatsoever, and may well indeed be a good thing.

I'd now like to go off on a wild tangent at this point, and relate to you a recent visit to some foreign clime where I had a jolly old time at someone else's expense, and make you feel like your life is vastly inferior to my own, which it almost certainly is.

At the very last moment I'll return to the subject of the review, this book, which I will pick huge holes out of, mercilessly, using a alarming amount of hyperbole.

I will point out that this is nothing new, that it is a series of Sunday Times articles ranging back several years, giving the briefest road tests of cars, some of which are no longer for sale. And that acres of print, more than the size of Texas, are spent in repetition of what is basically the same joke.

And then, right in the last paragraph I will confess to absolutely loving this book. That despite all of its obvious failings I devoured it cover to cover and laughed heartily along the way. That despite it being a jolly good way for Mr. Clarkson to make a lot of dosh without having to do any more work than he had already done, I don't begrudge him a penny, and would happily buy any number of his other books.

If you liked the format of the above, buy the book, you'll love it. I have to admit here that Jeremy and I are worryingly on the same wavelength with our views of the world. He doesn't like politicians, the police, hippies, environmentalists, slow drivers, speed cameras, modern music, etc, etc.... And neither do I - so it's easy and enjoyable reading. If you don't like his views, stay away. You'll just get cross.

Recommended, 8/10, you could buy the paperback version here.

Led Zeppelin - Mothership

2007-12-16T12:32:00.000Z

Let me say straight away that I don't own this particular collection, will not own this collection in the future, and have no idea what is on this collection. Well I have really, but you know what I mean. I don't have to know or hear this music, because I've already bought it in various ways several times before, and I know exactly what it's like.

It's bloody brilliant, that's what it is.

No, really it is. Trust me on this.

Well, I suppose I'd better make the odd caveat here. If you really, really like Westlife, if you think the winner of X Factor is going to have a major influence on music today, if you think Rap music is a positive life enhancing genre or indeed think that a Club Mix Dance Compliation including the work of Billy Bunter is the dog's nads... then it is possible you won't like Led Zeppelin.

Tough... go away, I don't want you to like them.

But if you have any reasonable level of discernment and haven't heard this work yet in your lives (yes kids, I mean you) then get your lug-holes around this album and find out just who it is that a lot of today's popular beat combos are copying the style of. Marvel at the musicianship. Be awed by the vocals. Soak up the sheer power of the sound. Cliché time... if you only buy one CD for Christmas... make it this one. Take time to appreciate it. I doubt this level of musical brilliance will happen again for a long time to come.

Recommended, 10/10, you could buy it here.

Coheed & Cambria - Good Apollo...

2007-11-17T12:35:00.001Z

There are quite a few things that are too long about this album. "Coheed & Cambria" for a group name is cumbersome and I can't ever remember it, I agree, that is my fault, not their's. But the album title in full is "Good Apollo, I'm Burning Star IV, Volume One: From Fear Through the Eyes of Madness". Now that's just plain daft.

And then there's the music itself. It runs to over 70 minutes, which I agree is good value, but it's stretching my ability to appreciate this kind of music way too far.

In the old days (oh no, off he goes...) albums were 40 minutes if you were lucky. Just because they can be 73 minutes, that's no reason to make them that long, and this is a good example. Condense this to half it's length, it would be much better. Because it is good stuff.

Now, I do like prog. I liked Yes, Genesis, Pink Floyd, and, um... Rush! Hmmm. So I'm happy with mad lyrics (yes, Anderson, I mean you!). But this is pushing it. This guy seems awfully angry with something, but the lyrics are impenetrable, so I'm not sure what it is he's mad with.

The album starts really, really well. Excellent, I started listening and thought I was in for a treat. But it's all a bit samey. It's good, but it all seems to merge into one very long splurge of the same thing. A good thing, but the same thing.

I think I'm quite glad I did buy this album. It was a bit of an impulse buy, and often they are the best. It has its faults, but overall it's a fairly enjoyable listen. Just don't try and decipher the lyrics, that's all. Phew. Oh, and switch it off half way through...

Recommended, 7/10, you could buy it here.

Scott & Leonov - Two Sides of the Moon

2007-11-08T13:15:00.001Z

It all seems a long time ago that the USA and USSR were squabbling over who rules the world. I think we look back now and forget the importance the space-race had at the time. Kennedy famously promised to get a man on the moon by the end of the 60s. The Americans just made it, the Russians failed.

Maybe you had to be around in the 60s to appreciate this book. As a child back then it was a simple race. The Russians got off to a good start, but in the end the Americans pipped them at the post.

This book, written in part by David Scott, a Gemini and Apollo astronaut who walked on the Moon, and his 'rival' Alexei Leonov, the first man to walk in space and who would have most likely been the first Russian on the Moon, clarifies the story of the race and why the result turned out the way it did.

The book is not heavy on technicalities, just enough detail is given for the reader to appreciate just how hard the task was, and just how demanding of the men and women involved.

Both men show commendable modesty when describing their achievements, and are generous with praise for their comrades, notably Scott flew in Gemini with Neil Armstrong, and Leonev was great friends with Yuri Gagarin.

There is a bias towards David Scott in terms of pages written in this jointly authored book. But where Leonov loses on quantity, he makes up for it in quality... quality of insight anyway. It seems the Russian effort hinged on the leadership and brilliance of one man, and when he died prematurely the whole pack of cards collapsed. On the other hand, Scott reveals how close on many occasions the American effort nearly resulted in disaster which would have put an end to their attempts too. To summarise, I think, the Americans were just plain lucky to make it, the Russians unlucky to fail.

Highly recommended, 10/10, you could buy the paperback version here.

Police Police?

2007-09-03T13:18:00.002+01:00

Policemen. Yes, I agree, we do need them. We may not want them, but we do need them. It's a pity, but there you go. However, it seems that, like politicians, maybe wanting to be one should preclude you from actually being one.

They seem to be going though a bit of a bad patch at the moment, don't they? They kill innocent people. They can't catch even children who murder other children. They drive very, very fast everywhere, but always seem to arrive too late. They cause other people to have serious accidents in their pursuit of trivial crimes.

They have become almost invisible, I guess they're all at the station doing paperwork. They're terrifically good at reconstructions of crimes, and of putting sobbing relatives in front of us in an effort to make us give ourselves up in a fit of remorse. One day's absolutely 100% rock solid evidence is tomorrows dubious pile of twaddle and lies.

It's not just our boys in blue in the UK I'm talking about, either. Think about the horlicks the Portuguese coppers are making of the McCann case.

So. I think that they need bringing to book themselves. Surely they can't continue to get away with this level of poor performance? Police for the police then. That's not going to be easy to organise, is it?

But if there were some totally independent group (truly independent this time) watching over them, maybe, just maybe they'd get their act together.

Don't look at me, though. I would preclude myself on the grounds of prejudice against them. A lifetime ago they stitched me up like a kipper. I'm not going to forgive them. Ever. But maybe you'd like a go at it? There must be someone out there who could keep an eye on 'em?

When I was at secondary school, there was one boy in our year who stood out. Academically he was pretty near the bottom. Well, he did no work, he mucked about and disrupted classes the whole time. He was a big lad, he intimidated all of us, and some of the teachers too. I recall him reducing one poor (softy) teacher to tears.

It was quite a while ago, in fact the early 70s, and it happened to be that the 'Wacky Races' were first being shown on tv. Every week, this guy would run a book on who would win. We all had to (HAD to) cough up a few pence each, and got to pick a name out of the hat. Some poor S.O.B. would get Dick Dastardly! I never saw anyone get their winnings. Frankly, he was a big thick bullying pain in the backside.

Came the end of secondary school, most of us were off to college and so on. Where did this guy head? You guessed. He's probably a Chief Superintendent by now...

Mike Mullane - Riding Rockets

2007-07-15T13:22:00.001+01:00

This is one of the most enjoyable books I have ever read. It's tricky for me to know for sure that you'd enjoy it too, I guess that may depend on your age, and your interest in the American space project. But regardless, this is a truly very interesting book, lifting the lid as it does on just what it takes to get on board a Space Shuttle, not just from yourself, but from those around you too.

And it turns out that what it takes is not particularly balls of steel, though they would help, but more, determination. Single minded determination to get to do and see what others will never experience... but at a price.

The book takes you through Mike's childhood obsession with space, the help he received from his disabled father, his fight with poor eyesight to get onto the programme, and the traumas his family suffered to keep his dream alive, and finally his moments of euphoria in space. And also the fairly awful truth of how the Challenger disaster could easily have been avoided if everyone at NASA had been pulling in the same direction.

But this is no dry description of his life, it's full of humour and a self deprecating exposé of his earlier non-PC self. The book has a lot in it about women's emancipation and Mike and his male colleagues reaction to it, which is 'historically' interesting when you come to think how recently his former views on the subject held sway.

Through all the fear, discomfort, pain, emotional upheaval and general angst that came along with his flights, I will also take away his marvellous descriptions of the nights he spent aboard the shuttle looking out of the tiny windows enjoying the view, listening to uplifting tunes on his walkman. He's done us all a favour by recounting just how wonderful the experience is, cos sure as eggs is eggs, not many of us are going to see it!

Highly recommended, 10/10, you could buy the paperback version here.

Philip Reeve - Mortal Engines Quartet

2007-06-16T13:44:00.000+01:00

The Mortal Engines quartet is a set of four (duh) books for children, but I would recommend them to everyone - in the same way the Harry Potter books are a good read whatever your age.

I bought the first book for just 99p, a great marketing trick, because they must know that as soon as you've read one, you'll just have to buy the rest!

Remember when "Raiders of the Lost Ark" came out, and it was sold on the fact that the action never stopped? Well these books are the same. The pace is relentless, there are no dull bits, the story absolutely rattles along at full speed, chapter after chapter.

I'm reading these books to my son, and I often feel quite drained after twenty minutes or so. It's great stuff.

I could tell you a bit about the plot, but I wouldn't be able to do it justice. And the writing style is very high quality without becoming to difficult for the young ones. I'd say these books were for seven years and older.

The stories are set in the far future, after a great war has wiped out the world as we know it. In this future there is technical complexity, but certain things are missing that we would find common-place. And here's the big idea - people live on cities that trundle around on wheels. Yes. I know. But actually it all makes sense and you soon totally believe this could happen. Big cities prey on town, towns on villages. If they catch them they chomp them up. But some people still do live on the ground, and tensions grow between the two groups. And then there are floating cities who prowl the seas, underwater cities, cities that lurk in the Arctic wastes. People travel and fight using airships. America is a mysterious wasteland with no life... probably. I'm just scratching the surface. Oh, and there's quite a bit of boy-meets-girl, girl-hates-boy, girl-changes-mind-about-boy, boy-marries-girl. But not too much!

If there was a God then Philip Reeve should be as rich as JK Rowlings. These books are fantastic, action packed, remorselessly exciting, superbly imaginative. One small warning. They can get a bit bloodthirsty, which my 8-year old of course likes, but I suppose others may not. People die in these books. Quite a lot and in a number of gory ways. But please don't let that put you off unless you're a very sensitive soul.

Highly recommended, 10/10, you could buy them here book#1 book#2 book#3 book#4.

J.G. Ballard - The Complete Short Stories: v. 2

2007-05-18T13:46:00.000+01:00

This is the second volume of a two book set of collected short stories by the great J.G. Ballard. Having thoroughly enjoyed the first volume, reviewed elsewhere, I was greatly relishing this second book. However, I admit to being somewhat disappointed so far.

So Far? Yes, because I admit I haven't finished the book yet. I'm writing this review now because I'm about to take a break from the book. I am Ballard-fatigued.

I will return and finish it. Maybe in a month or two. It is very enjoyable. There's just too much of it that is the same.

I mentioned in my previous review about sand. I think this volume goes slightly beyond a joke about sand. Every story has sand. it's everywhere, usually left over from dried up lakes or seas. Sand. Tons of it. And a lot of unhappy blokes. It's just too much.

In isolation the stories are great. Well... some start well and then just end, which is annoying, but it's all beautifully written and very imaginative. But too much sand. Way too much sand. Look... I'm doing it now... damn.

I mentioned in my previous review that I needed a dictionary to get the most out of this book, and indeed I bought one, but it was the wrong one. Despite having a similar number of pages to the Ballard book, it's still not big enough, it just hasn't got all the difficult words. I started to think he was making them up, but in fact these words do exist, just not in my 800 page concise dictionary. So buy a nice big fat one to go with it.

Recommended, 7/10, you could buy it here.

Saving Power or Wearing Out Your Kit?

2007-05-08T13:48:00.001+01:00

I recently had a letter published in my favourite computing magazine, PC Pro. The topic I addressed was that of whether powering PC equipment on and off does it any harm or not. I wrote thus:

"I have been following your campaign to get us to switch off our computer equipment with interest these last few months. I absolutely go along with you on this, and I have been encouraged to switch off even more of my equipment at night as a result.

However, I must say that I'd draw the line at my PC powering off relatively frequently during the day, not for any time wasting or ecological reasons, just simply because surely this must wear it out more quickly? I've noticed a couple of brief mentions in the magazine that PCs and monitors these days are happier switching on and off than they were, is this demonstrably true or does it just suit your argument?

It has frequently been my experience that it's at the point of powering up computer equipment when things go wrong. I'm no scientist, but surely the change from hot to cold to hot etc must put a strain on electronic equipment? Do modern TFT monitors mind going on and off frequently? Do PC processors suffer wear from the huge temperature changes as they power up and down?

I would be a total convert to the whole switch-it-off debate if you could persuade me there was no damage being done. Any chance of such a test appearing in the magazine?"

They were very nice to publish the letter (well, an extract from it, actually), however I was somewhat dismissed as being someone who was harking back to the days of mechanical devices, and everything was okay now.

The following month, a like-minded soul had his letter published as a follow-up to mine, again questioning this assumption that things are okay these days.

I just don't think they are, and I again emailed them, thus:
"You mentioned my worry being a hangover from the mechanical world... well let me give you another similar analogy. With aircraft, though total flying hours is used to determine if a plane is worn out, what they really worry about is the number of landings. That big thump does more damage than cruising along for hours. Is it maybe not the same with switching electronic gear on and off?

Now then... "News" in issue 151... "But it does save £50 per year on power" when referring to Vista's default power settings... it won't save anyone 50 quid if in fact it shortens the life of the equipment... in fact it will cost a packet in terms of hours lost and hardware replacement. I would really like to see an electronics brainiac's response to this... like your article on what kills hard disks... surely the manufacturers do research of this nature... someone must know for each component what the actual damage (or not) of powering on and off does to each component?"

It would be good to get a definitive answer on this, as a recent tv programme highlighted just what a large carbon footprint making a PC causes. If we end up breaking them by attempting to save a little power, that can't be right can it?

Gene Kranz - Failure is Not an Option

2007-04-06T13:53:00.000+01:00

When the USA found itself falling behind the Russians in the race for space back in the early 60s, there was a huge effort mounted to catch up. Gene Kranz, ex fighter pilot, got his job with NASA 'just' by applying, no interview, he was in. Thousands of highly competent guys like him took on the challenge, and of course we now know they triumphed, just managing to get a man on the moon before the decade was out.

This book if terrific. Kranz gives you a detailed insight into just how hard the task was, and just how close they came to disaster on many occasions.

His job was to get his controllers organised so well that any crisis that came along could be dealt with as quickly and accurately as possible.

This man worked on the Mercury, Gemini and Apollo projects, culminating in the Apollo 11 moon landing itself, and the unbelievable saving of the Apollo 13 crew after their spacecraft blew up on the way to the moon.

Without him and men like him, the whole space project would have been a shambles. His ability to hold things together and organise his troops is inspiring. And his disappointment with his country for getting bored with Moon landings and pulling the plug on the project is painful to read.

This book ties in with my article here about how the USA could make itself look great again. Guys like Kranz must still be there, ready and able to do these fantastic things, for goodness sake why not let them have a go for Mars, what a glorious enterprise that would potentially be.

Highly recommended, 9/10, you could buy it here.

A Personal History of Computers

2007-03-19T13:55:00.002Z

A chronological list of the computers I've worked with:

	IBM 370/135 (1975) A huge great thing taking up a large air-conditioned room, protected by an air-lock and copious tac-mats. Made a hell of a racket, but had flashing lights and everything. A proper computer, not the mamby-pamby stuff we have now. Main memory was 240k. Yes. The huge disk drives with removable multi-disk platters that weighed a ton held about 30Mb each. The console was not a screen, it was a teletype thing, producing reams of paper with gibberish on it. Programs were loaded from Hollerith punch cards, see here. more info on the IBM 370 here.
	NCR 8500 Criterion (1981) I can't recall any of the spec of this thing, neither was there a lady in white included with the one I worked on. At the time I was totally into the thing, I was a systems programmer, tuning the beast and writing apps too. It had less flashing lights than the IBM, but it did at least have a screen for a console. The disk drives were large heavy things that spun very fast. To change a volume you pressed a button and waited for it to slow down and stop, then open the lid, screw on a big plastic lid thing and wrench it off. Once, I opened it up and put on the lid, only to find it was still spinning at full speed... I was lucky not to break an arm or worse. The engineer told me this was impossible, due to an 'interlock' that stopped the lid opening while the drive was spinning. I've never trusted 'impossibilities' since!
	Commodore Vic 20 (1981) My then boss bought one of these for games, but asked me to write an accounting system for him, so he could claim it as a business expense. It survived a serious car accident and eventually I did program a simple accounts app for him, which I seriously doubt he ever really used.
	Sinclair ZX81 (1983) I bought mine from a mate for 15 quid, with the 16k ram pack as seen here... which was a total pain... any movement and the thing would crash the machine. I did once type in a huge program only to be unable to save it to cassette. The flickering caused by typing (it couldn't take input and do output at the same time!) was horrible. Eventually I swapped it for a flash gun for my camera, a good deal!
	NCR Decision Mate V (1985) A lovely bit of kit, I wish I had one now. Built like a tank. I wrote a game of Breakout on it in Basic. See my other blog entry on this here.
	Apricot Xi (1986) I used this as portable machine, the keyboard clipped to the back of the main unit, which had an extendable carry handle. The screen was quite light and easy to lug around too. It had a small hard disk, and a neat feature, the keyboard had a little LCD display above some keys, so you could program your own functions for them. Small, but perfectly formed, I used it to telework, writing Accounting software in UCSD Pascal.
	Amiga 1500 (1991) I won one of these in a competition in the magazine "Air Forces Monthly". It was worth around a grand at that time. It was just an ordinary Amiga 500 in a PC sized case, its only advantage being that it was expandable, not that I ever did add to it. I amassed a huge amount of software for this thing, games and serious stuff. It was fun to program, using a Basic like language called, um, Amos I think. Hard disks and their controllers were pricey back then, so I never did go beyond running everything on two floppies. The drives were maddening, slow and they used to click annoyingly when empty, trying to detect if a disk had been inserted, bonkers. I still have it, it just about works, though it's packed away in the loft these days. Not that I'm a huge gamer, but the Amiga did run my favourite game of all time, F/A-18 Interceptor. Looks awful now, but at the time this was the most fun I'd had in clothing.
	Compaq Deskpro 4/33i (1993) At the time I got my hands on this, it seemed like the dog's whatsits. It had an 'overdrive' chip fitted to it eventually, making it go a tad faster. A simple, compact and sturdy design, it lasted for years, and still works to this day, the last time I tried it anyway.
	Compaq Contura 3/20 (1994) I got my hands on about four broken models of this, and from them built one working machine. They had variously been dropped, run over (!), and caught fire. But there were just enough components to make one fully working laptop. Though the battery has long since dies, this mongrel still works. It runs DOS and Windows 3.1 quite happily, and it's tiny hard disk has 'Stacker' running on it to double (maybe) the space. Now hard disks are so cheap and so huge it's funny to think such software was once de rigeur.
	Various dull PCs, Reseda, Pionex, Premier. Bring on the clones. Many anonymous (for which read 'cheap') IBM PC clones followed, with ever increasing speed and memory as various Windows versions attempted to eat the hardware advances. It's all a con, isn't it? The better the kit gets, the more resources the O/S requires, just in case you thought you could sit back and enjoy a PC for a few years. Not a hope - read 'The Subliminal Man' by JG Ballard.
	Compaq Presario SR1539UK (2005) And here we are with my current PC. As of now, March 2007, (update - now replaced, see below) it's just over a year old and as usual that initial rapture of a new super fast machine with acres of disk space has faded... I guess I need to weed out the rubbish and re-install XP to get back the performance, but what a performance to do so, can I be bothered? Bought for 800 quid from PC World, I see now that better spec'd versions these days are a lot less, but it has been ever thus. It has an AMD Athlon 64 processor, but such is my addled state and to be honest boredom with the hardware side of IT, this means little to me. It works, it's quiet, it does the job. If you'd shown it to me when I was working on and IBM 370/135, I would never have believed such a device was possible, let alone that I'd own one. (awwooooga, awooooga, 'old man' alert... enough already.
	Fujitsu Siemens Pi2515 (2008) I treated myself to a laptop. Well... I'd finally got wireless internet sorted out, and I thought, why not... they're cheap now. And it was... just 400 quid from Dabs. It's got a whopping 250gig hard disk, 2gig of RAM, and the nicest screen you could ask for. Naturally Vista renders it as slow as can be, though not unacceptably so. I suppose. I'm trying hard not to load it up with all the usual rubbish that eventually causes Windows to grind to a halt, so far so good. Hate the touchpad thing, but then hate them on every laptop. Battery life is 2 hours, which seems par for the course, but never, of course, quite long enough.
	Packard Bell iXtreme X5620uk (2010) So, the old Presario (see above) started to feel a bit slow, and my little boy needed a PC for homework, so I looked around for a new desktop. Did hours of research on t'internet and came up with a couple of options from Dell and somewhere else I can't recall. Just happened to be passing a PC World, so dropped in and said to the salesman, "you won't be able to, but can you match this spec and price?", and handed him my wish list. Off he went. Came back with this thing, and he beat the price by 20 quid. Hmmm... Packard Bell... didn't know if I liked the sound of that... But what the heck, so I bought it and it's been perfectly fine ever since. Quad core, 4 gig memory, 500gig drive, it's quiet, so far reliable - does everything I want. Has Windows 7 64-bit on it, which is a slight pain as quite a few programs don't now work, and I can't get drivers for a few of my older peripherals, notably from HP, see article moaning here.
	Acer Aspire One D255E (2011) All this talk of tablets, Kindles, iPads etc etc got me thinking that I needed something to sit next to me on the settee of an evening, waiting for the inevitable everyday questions to come up that you can look up the answers to on Wikipedia. I.e. cheating during Eggheads. But my fingers just don't seem to work touch screens. My son has a touch phone, I can't get the bloomin' thing to do anything. So I looked at unfashionable Netbooks, and, having consulted recommendations in PC Pro magazine, plumped for this one. And, showing commendable patience I decided to wait until I could get it for £200, which eventually I did, from Okobe. It's the dual-core version, and is cute as a button. It's not fast, but the battery life is fantastic, screen vibrant and I love it. And it's red. Somewhere else in this blog you'll find a full review - see here.

Just what is Number One?

2007-03-09T07:29:00.001Z

The other night the Missus went to sleep, leaning against me, on our settee. (Ahhhh.) Anyway, the TV programme that had sent her off finally ground its way to some sort of conclusion, and I was left with the remote to hand, but unable to move without disturbing her.

So, I started flicking channels like you do. And like you do these days with the remarkable number of channels to choose from, I found nothing whatsoever of interest. And, just to give an indication of how desperate the choices were, I ended up on Ceefax.

Now I know that Ceefax is a sort of free lunch, in that it's a miracle you can get data to flow alongside your TV picture... but it really is awful, isn't it? In these broadband days, it's just beyond the pale. Anyway.

Looking through the menu options I picked out Music. And then the Charts. And it struck me, not for the first time, that I had absolutely no idea whatsoever of what was in the charts. And that I haven't known what the number one song is for... well... months... in fact, to be precise, since they stopped showing Top of the Pops.

Now, the day they cancelled that show there was much rejoicing from the other members of my household. Because, for them, it signalled the end of a sustained period of great grumpiness on my part.

No longer would they have to sit through half an hour of moaning every week as I gave my (almost always) caustic comments on the quality of the acts they paraded before us on the show. Bloody awful, 99% of it. You know I'm right.

But, blimey I miss it. Not because it was any good. No. But because it's part of life. Since I was a nipper, I've always watched it. When I was at school I'd record the charts in my diary. I'd know what the top five songs were, every week. When I was a teenager, Pan's People were just about the best thing on TV. You look back now and wonder why, but back then they were, and that's that.

And over the years (okay, increasingly rarely) there have been great TOTP moments. I've bought loads of CDs on the strength of a performance seen on the show. But key to the whole thing was that countdown. Just what was the most popular song of that day? It didn't matter that complete garbage managed the feat... bloody irritating frogs, talentless boy bands, Cliff Richard... the thing was you did know. Like the weather. You watch the weather forecast, it's not always nice weather, but you knew what to expect.

And now... I'm not prepared to go hunting around trying to find out who is number one... I just want someone to tell me at the end of half an hour of dross. I don't know why, I just do. Is it too much to ask?

A Hard Day's Write: The Stories Behind Every Beatles Song

2007-03-06T07:34:00.000Z

This book is a hugely enjoyable read for anyone, like myself, with an interest in the Beatles and their oeuvre. Though it could be argued that close examination of their lyrics may detract slightly from the pure enjoyment of listening to the songs, I think after all this time to have new insights into their work is highly rewarding.

The author has tracked down at least an interpretation of pretty much all their songs here. Through interviews with people around at the time, and bringing together things said by the group during this period, there are quite a few revelations on what exactly they were banging on about.

He even manages to track down some of the subjects of their lyrics, for example the Lucy of Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.

The book is well written, well researched, and has some great pictures of the group.

It's not all gushing praise either, the author does tell it like it is about some of their less wonderful work. And it's interesting to read how often Lennon was dismissive of his own work on many occasions.

Highly recommended, 9/10, you could buy it here.

Kate Rusby - 10

2007-03-03T08:10:00.000Z

Kate Rusby is simply a joy to listen to. If you'd said to me a few months ago that I'd be happily listening to olde English folke music, lyrics about cows and men conscripted to serve before the mast, and general old-world unhappiness, I would have thought you mad. But I am. And it's all down to Kate's voice and guitar.

I haven't looked, but I fully expect that other reviews of Kate say 'voice of an angel' somewhere along the way... because it's true. Made all the more appealing by the Northern edge to her singing. It's perfect for the songs she sings.

"10" is a compilation of moments from the first 10 years of Kate's career. The songs are all folk, and the production, singing and playing are beyond reproach.

I went to see Kate play live recently, and she can knock this stuff off live just as well as here on record, she is an extraordinary talent.

I can't praise this album highly enough. If you want to hear someone on top of their game and you like the folk vibe, buy this album, you will not regret it.

Highly recommended, 9/10, you could buy it here.

J.G. Ballard - The Complete Short Stories: v. 1

2007-03-03T08:08:00.001Z

I don't normally take on books with nearly 800 pages. I know... I'm an amateur. But the truth is I find it really hard to keep my enthusiasm for a book up if it, um, overstays its welcome.

I'm currently reading all the Harry Potter books to my little boy, as a bedtime story. First book, if anything, too short. Second, about right, third - okayish, fourth - bit of a struggle, and now I find myself with number 5, ("Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix") is way to long... again, over 700 pages. It's good... but it's getting to be a trial.

So, I was concerned about this book, but it turns out I shouldn't have been. I've sped through it, barely a dull moment, and immediately ordered the second volume.

J.G Ballard did write one of my favourite all-time books, the autobiographical "Empire of the Sun". And he's written a whole raft of interesting novels over the years. Here we have dozens of short stories, all written in the early sixties.

They are, in the main, not science fiction as such. But nearly all contain an 'other-worldliness' which I find quite remarkable. They take place in, perhaps, parallel universes, where things are very like the world we know... but not quite the same.

Several stories take place in "Vermilion Sands", a haunting and mysterious place. in fact, sand is a common theme in this collection. There are an alarming number of stories involving sand dunes stretching into the distance, the sea long gone, a theme thoroughly explored by Ballard in the 1966 novel "The Drought".

Ballard's stories all seem to be hot and dry. They are inhabited by men, mostly disturbed by something, seeking something, escaping something. They are superbly imaginative, beautifully told stories. Just occasionally they just stop inconclusively in that irritating 60's way, but the majority come to a satisfactory conclusion.

They are wordy. In fact, and I'm not kidding, I've ordered a little dictionary to have by my side while read the second volume, because some of his vocabulary is way over my head.

Ballard is a treasure. Here we have bite-sized morsels of his genius.

Highly recommended, 8/10, you could buy it here.

How To Run The Country?

2007-03-01T08:12:00.000Z

I think there's enough evidence now to show that democracy doesn't really work that well. I mean it's not awful, but it's far from perfect. There's been a lot of death and destruction to get us to democracy, which has been a jolly good thing to achieve, but is there any reason to rest on our laurels and not try to go one better?

In principle, democracy is absolutely fine. No arguing with that. However, there is one obvious flaw, and that is the people who do the voting. They keep getting it wrong.

Bush. Two terms in office. One term was carelessness. Two just shows the voters don't know what they're doing. Similarly with Blair, he seemed a reasonable cove to start off with (well, not to me, I never liked him) but it soon became apparent he was as bad as the rest, indeed possibly worse. When you're that dangerously self deluded, you really shouldn't be allowed near the reins of power.

So, how to make it better. You can see democracy in action these days most clearly in the ubiquitous TV phone in vote. All too often (but not always... there's always a fluke correct result now and then) the wrong person wins things like Big Brother or the endless dancing competitions.

And again on TV you can get to see the general public at their worst. The Jeremy Kyle Show is a good example. As a piece of entertainment it's hard to beat. I have to actively stop myself watching it, because once you've started you can't take your eyes off the screen. The participants are SO awful... basically it's a modern day freak show. But there's an endless supply of these people, and they've all got the vote you know.

In life, at every turn, you're asked to prove yourself before you're allowed to do tricky things. 'O' levels. 'A' levels, a degree before you can apply for a job. Interviews. Driving Tests. Applying for a loan.

How is it, therefore, that you can be allowed to vote without having to prove in anyway that your knuckles are not scraping the ground, and that there is at least a minimum number of brain cells buzzing around your noggin with which to make this important decision.

Okay, I don't know exactly how to test if someone is fit to vote, but I'm sure we could come up with something. Maybe we don't completely disallow the stupid from voting, just weigh their vote less. And I'm not talking about educational achievement here... no, we need to test someone ability to think it through. Some very 'clever' people may well fail the test.

Last night I caught a snippet of a program on Blair. Apparently president Chirac said to him that if he (Blair) continued to support the Americans and went to war on Iraq without the support of the UN, then little Leo Blair would grow up not thanking him for it. This stopped Blair in his tracks... but only momentarily. Maybe he should have thought about that bit of wisdom a little longer.

I realise hindsight is 20-20, but it seemed obvious that war on Iraq would end in tears. Maybe Blair, therefore, would fail my democracy test. Maybe I would. But if we thought the process out really well, we'd end up with a better government, I'm sure of it.

Democracy is great, but MORE THINKING is required. Don't you think?

Shawn Mullins - Soul's Core

2007-02-28T08:14:00.000Z

Like many, the first time I heard this chap was when he had a minor hit with a track off this album, "Lullaby". The song had a spoken verse and a sung chorus, and it was the voice that got you in both cases. Shawn must smoke a lot of cigarettes... That song is not entirely representative of the album... the other songs are sung straight, and most are of a quieter one-man-and-his-guitar nature.

The thing I guess I like is the sheer American-ness of it all. Not saying I like America that much, just the exotic nature of his voice and the lyrics.

He's telling a story of his life in the States, touring around, playing "coffee house gigs". It sounds so great and romantic, which I can imagine it isn't really, but stuck in the rainy UK that "travelling from town to town" sounds warm and exciting and just fun.

The voice though... hear him say "does the dishes"... every time I smile.

There's another minor hit on this album, "Shimmer", which is pretty noisy stuff for a folk-rock singer. But my favourite track is perhaps the quietest on the album, "Twin Rocks, Oregon". The lyrics are just great, and it's difficult to imagine the narrative of the song didn't really happen to him. It's genius.

Highly recommended, 9/10, you could buy it here.

Devendra Banhart - Niño Rojo

2007-02-24T08:17:00.000Z

It must be great as an obscure artist to have one of your songs picked up and used in a national TV campaign. I've bought two albums recently because my Missus fancied them, having heard just a snatch on an advert. (The other one was Jose Gonzalez.)

A song from this album "Little Yellow Spider" was featured in an Orange advert. I can't say it provoked me to go and find out who it was, but the Missus was probably correct to do so, and then she talked me into buying the album.

I've often found that the albums
you end up liking the best are initially quite hard to take. And the opposite. Again, that Jose Gonzalez album we bought, put it on and immediately loved it from start to end. Trouble is, a few weeks later it's gathering dust. I still like it, but it's appeal is fading fast. Not so with Devandra. First hearing, didn't like it at all... but it's starting to grow on me.

It's very hippy. In fact if you view the two videos that are included on the CD, you'll discover it's VERY hippy indeed. To me it sounds like Donovan impersonating Marc Bolan. It's very mellow. It rarely gets more complex than a solo voice and a guitar or two. None of this is meant as criticism, it works very well. There are some truly inspiring moments along the way, and a few you could live without. 45 minutes passes without too much trouble.

Thing is, I keep getting to the end and starting it again. I'll give it a week and get back to you. I'm expecting to be addicted by then, or alternatively thoroughly sick of it. But at the moment, I'd give it a thumbs up.

Recommended, 7/10, you could buy it here.

Surveys on DriveArchive

2007-02-24T08:15:00.000Z

Every few months I conduct a survey on my DriveArchive site about motoring related issues.

Here are a few results from recent times:

Near where I live there are several stretches of road where they've dropped the speed limit from a very fair 40 down to a totally stupid 30. You can tell it's daft because (nearly) everyone semi-ignores the new limit, except when the old Bill is about, not because we're law breakers, but because it's plainly daft. You wonder who makes these changes, and why.	If today's road tax was collected not by a yearly lump some but by a small percentage on the cost of fuel, wouldn't that be fairer? The more miles you do, the more you contribute to the upkeep of the roads, and if you're a low user, then you contribute less.
Question: There are signs for eveything these days. How about when a speed limit changes, they put up a large sign for a few months explaining themselves?	Question: Wouldn't it be fairer to collect road tax from the price of fuel rather than a yearly sum that everyone pays, regardless of annual mileage?
agree: 58.1% don't care: 25.6% disagree: 16.3%	agree: 77.5% don't care: 3.9% disagree: 18.6%

Speed cameras. They may be a right pain, but maybe they do sort of work. But the truly galling bit, surely, is where the fine money goes. It goes into the coffers of the coppers, and they spend it on... erm, well, who knows? So, wouldn't it be better if the cash generated from speeding offences went somewhere better?	Is it not blindingly obvious (ho ho) that drivers should have regular eyesight tests to maintain their driving license? And that the interval between tests should decrease as age increases, until it's on a yearly basis? It wouldn't require a huge effort to turn up somewhere, read a distant numberplate and be allowed to continue driving. I see so many drivers who clearly cannot see where they're going.
Question: Would it improve the way you feel about the police generally if speeding fines went straight to, say, Children in Need?	Question: Should there be a regular eyesight test to maintain your driving license?
agree: 52.8% don't care: 16.7% disagree: 30.6%	agree: 82.2% don't care: 11.1% disagree: 6.7%

Is it me, or is nearly every white van man and small lorry driver you see these days using his mobile phone as he speeds between jobs or deliveries? I was recently nearly run off the road by a lorry carrying a huge mobile home, where the driver was breezing along with just one hand on the wheel, one holding his phone.	I'm not sure about the laws governing making a mess on public highways, but it seems to me that the you ought to be heavily prosecuted for making the surface of a road very slippy and dangerous. Yet in rural areas you are always coming across muddy bits of road which could be, and probably are, lethal - especially given a drop of rain.
Question: Would you like to see even more stringent rules on mobile phone use for people obviously conducting business in this way?	Question: Maybe the police would be making driving safer by keeping an eye on road surface abuse rather than getting so picky about speed limits?
agree: 82.9% don't care: 9.4% disagree: 7.7%	agree: 66.7% don't care: 23.3% disagree: 10.0%

If you want to participate in a survey (no signing up required) then visit here.

Beatles Discography

2007-02-21T08:19:00.000Z

I love the Beatles. Always have, always will. I grew up with their music, and though it has become a cliché and must bore the pants off the youth of today, there has been nothing to touch them since.

My Amazon based Beatles aStore might be of use to you.

It has links to Beatle books and CDs, DVDs and Videos.

I recently completed buying (well re-buying, replacing the old vinyl) all the Beatles albums. I can't imagine you'd be disappointed with any of them... whether you're young or old. You don't need me to tell you they're all classics, in one way or another. It's amazing how rough the early albums were, and how sophisticated and in some way 'heavy' the later stuff became.

To visit the store, click here,

and here is their discography, not completely comprehensive, just the UK album releases:

Probably not much of interest to anyone but me, but the above discography is XML, formatted using CSS, my first foray into this new world.

2007-02-17T08:21:00.000Z

This article is "reprinted" from my DriveArchive site, to visit click here.

The Astra discussed here is a 1.7 CDTi. Now, I've never driven a turbo diesel before, and I was half looking forward to it, half not. I knew from diesel evangelists that it would be quick, and economical. But I also knew that it would sound like a tractor and wouldn't rev. In all respects I was proved correct, but I was surprised just how much these expectations were true.

When the turbo kicks in this thing flies. Despite having driven many sports cars, I cannot recall a car with so much poke from 40 to 70 MPH. My young son calls it 'silly speed' not being able to differentiate between speed and acceleration.

"Engage silly speed!" he shouts from the rear, and I put my foot down and you do feel that push in the back as the car pulls away.

But it does sound like a tractor at slow speeds. I had thought that maybe with all the technology that has no doubt gone into this engine, they might have been able to avoid that clatter, but no. I suppose you do get used to it, but driving slowly is not great fun for a driver who cares about these things, which I admit I do. Once you're up and running things naturally improve, but it's still a bit rough compared to a petrol.

The payoff therefore must be fuel economy? Well yes... so far the car has averaged 50 MPG. My previous car of a similar size managed 40, so it is a significant improvement, but not a massive one. Maybe I "engage silly speed" too often.

So, it accelerates well, but, and it's a big but, it's really hard to accelerate smoothly. From a standing start the turbo effect is hard to get used to. Nothing much happens, then it kicks in at a certain level of revs, you shoot forward, change gear and the whole thing slows up until that rev level is reached again. I admit I have not as yet mastered the art of keeping it 'on the plane' and achieving a lurch free journey. Drive it less aggressively and it's fine. Maybe I'm expecting too much.

The outside. Nothing to complain about there, it's a nice looking car. Somehow it looks like an Astra, but looks new too, which is good. It certainly looks better than the old Astra, and for me the new Focus manages the opposite compared with it's predecessor. The alloy wheels are a faff to clean, too many spokes.

The inside. It feels very, very solid. It's low on cup holders and places to keep "stuff", but the glove box is big and the dash quality is good. No rattles. The CD/radio is excellent, in fact this car has the loudest distortion free sound system I've ever experienced, put on "The Darkness" and go deaf.

The headlights, which on this particular car don't look-around-corners as on the adverts, don't seem that great on main beam. And they do look like a bunch of cheap plastic torches. The brakes are fantastic, disks all around with ABS, really good. Handling in normal circumstances is fine, I haven't thrashed it around a track, and it hasn't got low profile tyres, but for every day it's good.

The boot is ample, rear seat legroom is adequate. Seats are comfy, certainly a little firm at first and slightly slippery, but they have caused no problems on long journeys. Parking is easy, visibility is reasonable to the rear.

The handbook is appalling. It's so full of stuff about things you haven't got that it's of little use. Everywhere they tell you interesting features, but then you discover that you haven't got that option. As this car was already quite pricey I wonder just how much it could have cost if all the gubbins mentioned was actually installed.

Overall I like it, though I think I'd like a good big engined petrol version more, and I'd live with the inferior fuel consumption.

If I had over 20 grand to spend, the Astra Sport Hatch VXR 2.0i 16v Turbo would do just nicely...

This article is "reprinted" from my DriveArchive site, to visit click here.

NCR Decision Mate V

2007-02-15T08:53:00.000Z

The first Personal Computer I ever had the chance to use was a bit odd. I expect the vast majority of folk from that era, the late 70s, were exposed to the IBM PC. But I worked at a company who, quite unusually, had all NCR computer kit. And so when the first personal computers came along it was natural that we should get the NCR version of this new and exciting toy. (Back then NCR were quite big, I guess a lot of you would only know them for cash tills. IBM were the BIG cheeses of those times.)

Here it is. 8-bit. Black and White. CP/M operating system. Huge great floppy disk drive, which held next to nothing on them. No graphics, just text.

I loved it.

It weighed about half a ton, being very solidly made of metal. It was a neat and tidy design. Things were (cliche alert) simpler back then.

The truly great bit of design was the way you extended the machine. Unlike PCs then (we called 'em "Micros", actually), and now come that, you didn't need to take the case off to add expansion cards. Oh no, nothing as crude as we are now used to.

No. Around the back of the machine were slots. Expansion cards were metal boxes, maybe the size of the fingers of your hand, which slid into the slots and engaged with the socket deep in the machine. Simple and effective. You could add memory, network adapters, all the usual stuff. How the system we have now won out I don't understand. Oh, yeah I do... these cartridges must have cost a fortune!

Does anyone have a working version of this beauty? I hope so, somewhere. Let me know, please.

And there was not a huge amount of software available. Especially games. But I was addicted to a text based platform game. Across the screen were various levels with ladders between, made up of ___ and H and | symbols. You were an O (I think) and using the cursor keys you climbed an jumped to the top of the screen. Simple, addictive. Anyone know what this game was called, and can I get a copy anywhere?

ahhhh... I'm so happy... recalling this game made me go and look on t'Internet, and eventually I found what I was looking for... the game was called Ladders, and some fine chap has ported it into Java, so experience my first PC gaming experience here.

PC Pro Coverdisks

2007-02-09T09:21:00.000Z

I've been reading PC Pro magazine since the dawn of time, it feels like. If you subscribe it's cheap as chips, and is always a good read. (No, I don't work for them!)

Plus, it always comes with an interesting coverdisk, either a CD or more likely these days a DVD.

I'm pretty sure there's never been an issue that hasn't contained something worth at least evaluating, and frequently there have been amazingly good things, software I now use on a daily basis. (No, really, I don't work for them!)

Because I'm sad, I've taken to cataloguing the Full Product software on these covermounts, which generally are the most useful things on there. And now I've knocked up a web page for this info, which you might find useful. If there's anything you're after I guess their back-issue department might get it for you. (No... really... I don't...)

The site is here.

DriveArchive

2007-02-03T09:23:00.000Z

I run a site called DriveArchive. Let me explain.

DriveArchive is a bit like FriendsReunited, only for cars. Or lorries, buses, motorbikes, any sort of vehicle you like, which has a numberplate.

It's free to use, you can go along and search for a vehicle without registering, so why not pop along and give it a go now... oh, but before you go...

Obviously the chances of you finding a particular vehicle are quite slim. There are a heck of a lot of vehicles in the database, but then in the real world there are a LOT of vehicles... but I guess FriendsReunited once had very few people on it, and look what happened there. What the site really needs is for YOU to add some data when you visit.

If you go and have a look for a particular vehicle (might be one you once had, might be one you own now) and it's not there (or especially if it is!) then please add a record for it... you know it makes sense!

Registration is free and easy, minimum details I need are a name and an email address, to enable me and hopefully other owners to reach you (though note that your email need NOT be visible on the site for this to happen.)

Try it, what the heck, go to DriveArchive now...

To Infinity and Beyond!

2007-02-02T09:47:00.001Z

When I was a kid I used to think Americans were just great. They were the top bananas of the world. I couldn't have cared less that behind the scenes they were just as a big a bunch of dingbats as they are now, I just considered them THE people to be.

Why? Because of the Space Race. Which they won. Comfortably.

It was a two horse race. The Yanks vs. the Ruskies. We got all the anti communist propaganda, sure, but that didn't matter in the end, because the Americans actually did win. Their men stood on the Moon.

This picture of Buzz Aldrin was stuck on my bedroom wall for years.

To me it represents a massive achievement, and if you read about the landings in any depth, you'll discover it was a considerably more dangerous exercise even that it appeared at the time.

(I can heartily recommend Moondust: In Search of the Men Who Fell to Earth if you're interested.)

The thing was, the Yanks were doing it for no 'nasty' reason. It was all good. How you could fault them? Okay, it was a propaganda exercise on their big enemy, the Russians. But there was no (apparent) great military advantage to their quest. It was simply exploration, pushing the boundaries, seeing what could be achieved.

And they achieved it.

Seems to me their problem of late is that no-one seems to like 'em any more. Clearly the Muslim world have got a beef, and it doesn't much matter what it is, they have, and it would be tough to explain some of America's recent actions to their biggest fan without starting to feel a bit uncomfortable.

But say they were preparing to go to Mars. Just for the heck of it. Lots of media coverage, lots of excitement, lots of reasons to admire those Yanks. Young men sitting in bedrooms around the world, making models of the spaceships and glued to the telly-box, watching, fingers crossed, as the astronauts do their thing.

Preferable to them watching CNN and planning their next terrorist attack.

Give us all something to admire you for again. It worked before. It would work again.

AngleseyMotoring

2007-02-02T09:26:00.001Z

If you happen to live on the Isle of Anglesey, North Wales UK (as do I) then, if you are a motorist, I hope you find another site of mine useful, AngleseyMotoring.

It's a very simple site, it contains links and contact details of many motoring related businesses and services on (or near) the Island.

There's a list of all the garage main dealers, and independents, as well as a host of service companies, and finally a lot of general motoring links, for example to traffic cameras and weather forecasts.

It's free to use, so try here, AngleseyMotoring.

Queer Religion

2007-01-30T10:06:00.000Z

You've almost got to feel sorry for the religions currently struggling to get exempted from homosexual equality laws. I mean they're stuck with this God-awful book of rules, written a particularly long time ago, most of which the majority of us would now regard as twaddle.

I mean there's good enough stuff in there I suppose, 'thou shall not kill' etc etc, stating the obvious... but it's the rules they didn't quite think through back then that kind of jar nowadays, isn't it? The whole gay thing being a glaring example.

So you have the rather unhappy vision of men in religious uniforms on tv, desperately trying to fudge around the fact that they're supposed to be jolly good sorts all around, but they just happen to belong to this organisation that doesn't tolerate gays. Hmmm.

We cannot exempt them, surely? They're a dangerous minority now, trying to exert their will on the majority using the same sort of tricks as astrologers.

The irony too, I suspect, someone correct me if I'm wrong here, but they probably work in organisations which contain higher than average numbers of homosexuals. Which is fine. Just ironic.

Cuppa Soup

2007-01-24T10:08:00.001Z

People were looking at my a bit oddly yesterday. I was stood with the other parents waiting for our kids to emerge from school. No one said anything, they just did a double take. My 8 year old was not so kind. "What's that on your nose?" were his first words to me. I'd spent the morning painting a ceiling, so I guessed it was a bit of paint and made light of it.

But it wasn't paint, it was tomato soup. I'd drunk a mug of it just before I left, and somehow left a great long streak of orange all up my nose.

Is this the onset of old age? Have I now got to check myself for unfortunate food stainings every time I go out? Probably. It's all downhill from here then.

And I was thinking, from now on I don't want anyone else to die. (Soup to death... how did that happen?) Anyway.

I was listening to James Taylor, who I love, and I thought, he's older than me, one day it'll be on the radio that he's gone and I'll be so upset. So, no, I don't want a single person on the whole planet to die before I do.

After I'm gone, do what you like, I don't give a monkey's.

So... no more dead. Not even people I don't like. Not even, say, Tony Blair, who I consider a complete plonker. Pity he hasn't got the same attitude as me, huh?

The thing about Tony of course, is that he's only a weeny bit older than me. I'd prefer it if people making those tough decisions to be way, way older, then you can fool yourself into thinking they know what they're doing. They will have passed through the clumsy phase I'm now entering, and emerged all dignified... they will have slowed themselves up a bit, and gained gravitas.

People my age, like Tony, well I know what he'll be like... he'll make mistakes, he may even turn up at a press conference with an orange streak down his nose... you mark my soup. Words. Sorry.