William Shatner - Up Till Now

This was an impulse purchase, based on a brief but funny interview given by William Shatner to Jonathan Ross a few months back. I had not really been aware of what Shatner was like as a real bloke... just as a starship captain. And the answer was... very funny!

The book is chronologically organised, but it also jumps around quite a lot. I guess, as we know how his story turns out, there was little point keeping up a tension on the will-he won't-he make-it-big? part of his early acting career. It seems to be just a splurge of his thoughts and memories, and he frequently gets side-tracked. This works well, as he usually comes up with a funny anecdote on each diversion. And his anecdotes are pretty unusual... he's certainly had an exciting time over the years.

But the most surprising thing about his story is just how little a part Star Trek took. In effect he did all that Captain Kirk stuff, Star Trek turned out to be only mildly successful and he moved on to other projects.

It was only later that the Trek phenomenon really kicked in. The list of other acting roles he's done goes on and on. Basically, he seems rarely to have said "No" to any offer. And only recently has his contribution to the acting world been recognised.

I found myself laughing out loud at many of his tales, I just hope they really did happen! If they are, it's a miracle he's still alive.

Recommended, 8/10, you could buy the paperback version here.

Police Car Chases

News today of yet another fatal crash involving a police chase. Can I put it to you that the police should NOT be allowed to chase vehicles on our roads, no matter where or why?

In life today, it seems to me, there are many, many rules and regulations that attempt to avoid death and injury, and some of these rules are quite obscure and 'only' save a few lives here and there. If it's your life of course, then they are very good rules indeed. Allowing police officers to chase car thieves and the like, however, does seem an outstandingly obvious area which should be tightened up. I don't care how many cars get stolen, it's still not worth a life (or lives) to catch the thief.

And I don't care how stringently the police say their drivers are trained, because the moment they set off in pursuit of an excitable teenager in a stolen BMW, everyone for miles around is in grave danger. Let them get away, catch them later using forensics or something, but DON'T chase them. Surely?

It's one of my pet topics, so I'll raise it again, but wouldn't it be interesting to see some really clear statistics on car chases. How many car chases per year involving the police are there? How many result in catching the thief? How many result in death and injury?

If the answer to that last question is more than one, then I suggest we make them stop doing it.

You're 14. You've fallen in with some bad mates. They have a few bottles of cider one night and decide to pinch a car. You end up in the back seat, lurching around, having a laugh. Suddenly there are blue flashing lights behind you. Your 'mate' driving the car panics and puts his foot down. Suddenly he's lost control and the car bounces off a kerb, and the last thing you see is the lamppost that's going to cause your death.

Or. You're out walking the dog. It's a pleasant evening, you cross the road to chat to a neighbour. There's squeal of tyres behind you and you turn to see a terrified teenager at the wheel of speeding car heading straight for you, closely pursued by the old bill. Your life is extinguished because the police were attempting to prevent the theft of an ageing banger.

So... maybe the cops should be issued with bubble cars, as above?

MPs' Expenses

Today I heard two interviews on the topic of the MP's Expenditure furore. One was from an MP, who sat there meekly admitting that he was going to have to return 40 thousand pounds to set the record straight. He ("and my wife") were going to have a jolly good old think about where to get this 40k from. He looked sad and pathetic and you could almost have felt sorry for him had it not been YOU and ME he stole this extraordinary amount of cash from. The twat.

And the other interview was with Stephen Fry, for whom I have a lot of time, but with who, on this occasion, I disagree. He said that the whole expenses debacle was unimportant in the grand scheme of things, and a diversion from the real issues, such as impending financial meltdown, pandemics, war, etc etc. And that everyone (look to camera) has fiddled their expenses. Everyone. Well... actually, I haven't. And, being self employed, it would be rather silly of me to do so. The boss would definitely spot it.

And when people do fiddle their expenses, I would argue, firstly it would not be for such huge amounts of money as these MPs have managed, and secondly, it matters greatly because it's MY BLOODY MONEY. (And yours).

Just what do these people think they're up to? Where do they think the money is coming from, for them to have their garden gnomes polished or whatever? They must know it's tax payers money. So... they're just ordering another jacuzzi and sticking it on the ex's - do they think, some poor little sod in a factory has worked his gonads off to contribute tax to the country, and I'm going to blow it on this thing and I'm really going to enjoy the bubbles, ha ha!?

They are, as Terry Thomas would have said, "An absolute shower".

Tell you what I want, MPs. I want the money back. Yes I know they're giving it back, but I myself, ME, I want something back. I don't want you tossing a wodge into the collective pot only to find some new way to get it out again. I want... ohhh... a Mars bar. Yes. I want a Mars bar. A Mars bar for everyone. That should do it. Oh, and I want it hand delivered, by an MP, and I want hime to be sincerley contrite when he delivers it. Oh and I want to kick his arse as he (or she) walks away.

Not too much to ask... is it?

John Peel - the olivetti chronicles

There is a famous black and white photo of the original Radio One DJs, taken when the station was just about to open. There are some familiar faces, and some strangers. There's a young Terry Wogan, Tony Blackburn, and Kenny Everett. And down at the front, looking a little uncomfortable, is a young John Peel

Now, I cannot claim that I actually ever listened to his shows that much. When he played music that I (subsequently) liked, I was too young to stop up that late. And by the time I could stay up, he was often playing utter rubbish (in my humble opinion). However, it doesn't really matter that I didn't go along with much of the music he played, it was that he really believed in it himself. I cannot imagine he ever said he liked, or disliked, a record for any other reason than that he really did. He had what so very few celebrities have, utter credibility. In spades.

The BBC coverage of Glastonbury will never have the gravitas that he gave it. His radio show was just an institution, and is sorely missed. This book has two shots of him on the cover. The rear shows him as a young man, the front as an old chap. Worryingly, both pictures look scarily like me, at a similar age. Separated at birth?

So, the book. It's a really good read. It gives an insight into his life. It is only peripherally about music. It often made me laugh out loud. It also highlights something I didn't know just by listening to him speak... he could really write too.

The book is arranged curiously, but interestingly. The articles, none more than a page or two long, are ordered by alphabetical order of title, not chronologically. So one minute you can be back in the seventies, and then flung forward into the recent past, and then back again in a few pages. Surprisingly, this works. It's an interesting exercise to read the pieces and ignore the date, and at the end try and work out when it was written.

Okay, he clearly becomes increasingly curmudgeonly as time goes by, but the wit always remained. And it is so nice to hear him criticising the rubbish we've had foisted on us over the years, but with no real malice, and equally his generous praise for people who, frankly, don't deserve it - but if that's how he felt, fair enough, eh?

Recommended, 9/10, you could buy the hardback version here.

Ford Focus vs Vauxhall Astra

It just so happens that I'm in an excellent position to compare and contrast the merits of the Ford Focus TDCI and the Vauxhall Astra CDTI. The missus is fortunate enough to get a company car, and a few years ago she acquired the Astra.

After four years she had to change to a new car, and this time, mostly just for a change, she plumped for the Focus. And I bought the Astra from the leasing company. So we now have both, and I get to drive both regularly. They both have the 100bhp version diesel engines, of very similar spec. They are of a similar trim level. They have similar performance and fuel economy.

So, which (as Harry Hill would say) is best? Only one way to find out... fight!

Okay, not quite a fair fight, as the Astra has done 85,000 miles and the Focus about 3,000. However, I drove the Astra when it was brand new, so I think I can do a fair comparison.

Performance

Not much in it (yet - maybe the Focus will eventually free up a bit). There's no denying that the Astra has a noisier engine, when pootling along it sounds very tractor-ish, and the Focus does not. But when it comes to overtaking and so on, they are very similar - and that is to say they're both very good, considering. If anything, and I admit the Focus engine may be still tight, the Astra has more go. The Focus is quiet alright, but it also seems to need a few more revs to get going.

Economy

Not much in it again... though I know it's early days for the Focus. Over 80k miles the Astra has managed 53 mpg, and the Focus is doing 54 mpg so far, which is a little disappointing when they claimed it would do 60. Not too shabby though, in either case.

Handling

A clear winner here, is the Focus. However, it has got quite an advantage here, as its got nice low-profile tyres and is definitely a lot stiffer in the suspension. It also has adjustable steering weight, and when you crank it around to Sport mode, it's very communicative, and quite noticeably heavier to steer. The Astra, on normal boots and no such pretensions to sportiness, handles perfectly acceptably. I've never had a nasty moment in it, rain or shine. However, if you drive the Focus and immediately then drive the Astra, you start wondering if the Astra's tyres are the right pressure (they are) - it feels, in contrast, very imprecise compared to the Focus. So... Focus wins for sportiness, Astra wins for ease and comfort.

Brakes

Easy win to the Astra. Despite it's newness and it's higher price, the Focus has rear drums, the Astra has disks all round. The pedal feel is much better in the Astra, and though I suspect they'd both pull up in about the same distance, the Astra has a superior feel, giving greater confidence.

Body

Unfortunately the Astra is a (to me) nasty dark blue, whereas the Focus is a very bright red, and this helps the Focus look much better immediately. However, though the new Focus shape is easily the nicest incarnation of the marque so far, it still for me retains a somewhat dull jelly-mould outline. The Astra has a good shape... and when they make it into a coupé, well it looks really good. Shut lines are good on both. Not entirely sure the Astra headlights look good, I have heard them described as being like cheap plastic torches. The Astra doors clunk shut with a reassuring solidity, and the Focus in comparison feels slightly flimsy... and another small point, those places on door opening where the door is held mid-way... handy in tight parking bays... Astra's are good, Focus's are bad, no strength to 'em.

Interior

No contest here... Astra wins by a mile. Its interior feels classy, and again reassuringly solid. The plastic looks good, there are some nice styling touches, and nothing glaringly out of place. In contrast the Focus has one or two really nasty features. What were they thinking when they added the shiny stripes to the otherwise quite attractive seats? As for comfort, well, the Focus has lumbar adjustment and the Astra does not. Having said that, the Astra is more comfortable for me, reason being the Focus - even when adjusted to its widest setting - is still a little tight. I know I could do with losing a few pounds, but I'm not really huge. You could argue the Focus would hold you well while driving fast down country lanes, but in real life it just squeezes you (well me) a bit too much when cruising down duel carriageways.  The Focus cabin is a lighter and larger place to be, the rear seats of the Astra suffer from having quite deep doors, with small windows, not great for allowing a view out for youngsters. Instruments, well the Focus has an immediate appeal, but on closer inspection they look a little cheap somehow. The Astra is more classy, though mine lacks the computer display that the Focus has, showing all sorts of interesting if distracting information as you drive along. The Focus is four years more modern I guess, and did cost a couple of grand more, so fair enough, it wins on IT. One big feature of the Focus is a heated front windscreen, which is absolutely the dog's in weather like we've been having recently. Oh, and one last thing... the Astra does not have a temperature gauge. I don't know why, but I find them reassuring somehow and I miss it. Oh, and one last, last thing... the Astra defaults to AirCon off, the Focus defaults to AirCon on. I'm not sure why the Focus does this... I mean it's not the greenest thing to do, is it? I think on the whole I'd prefer to forget to put it on, rather than have to remember to switch it off every time I start the car.

ICE

Another clear win to the Astra, which has the best OEM in-car stereo I've ever owned. Your ears give up before the sound distorts, it's truly excellent. But more than anything else, I prefer the Astra because it has an MP3 CD player, and MP3 CDs on long journeys are fantastic things. Make up a 'mixed tape' of albums, and not have to fanny about changing discs for hours! Magic. The Focus may be four years newer... but oddly has just a normal CD player, no MP3. Neither has a USB port, though at least the Focus has a line-in connector, for what that's worth.

Reliability

Okay, well I admit it's early days for the Focus. But it was delivered in fault free condition, and nothing has gone wrong so far. The Astra has been pretty good over 80k miles, but has fallen down on a few points that are not uncommon, I've read. The pre-delivery check revealed a faulty power-steering unit. The rear tailgate opening switch failed. The petrol gauge gave an inaccurate reading, which resulted in running out of fuel, the only fault to cause a cry for help. The radio kept switching itself on in the middle of the night, and was replaced. It's currently suffering from a rear-brake squeal that no-one seems to be able to cure. But it's all pretty small beer... overall it's been top notch.

Result

Taking the age of the Astra out of the equation, so they're both sitting there in as-new condition, well, it's a close run thing. If it was me, I'd just go for the Focus, on the grounds that it's a sportier package, and the engine is way quieter. I think if you asked the missus, she'd pick the Astra, because she's not interested in the sportiness, and thinks the Astra is a nicer and more comfortable place to be. (Pity, therefore, we actually have the cars the other way around, doh!)
I will update this article as and when the Focus reveals its true colours... or not as the case may be.

And lo, a year on, I've posted that article... click HERE - and now HERE too.